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LASHING OUT ON MY BROKEN RIB
fractalcore

"Typical situations,
 1
all too obvious."
 2
"Spiteful
 3
Prototypical Sin
 4
Condition."
 5
 
 
Thank you,
 6
Adam;
 7
End
 8
Eve.
 9




written 05/24/08
http://poetrycritical.net/read/47818
and thank you, themolly.
: )

29 Aug 08

Rated 8 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6
Inactive (6): 4, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

That's cute and clever and concise!  I like it.  Can it be improved in small ways?
Only time can advise you on that, not me, not a first-time reader.  But as it strikes
a first impression:  very pleasing, good.  Thanks!
 — netskyIam

thank you, reid.

almost all my posts are rather unfinished and are here for later
edits when some new idea pops up and when i'm not that pressed
with time. of course, anyone can be the first to suggest any insightful
revision and is welcome to do so.

hope everything's fine with your health and stuff.
: )
 — fractalcore

nice one fract. cleverly written!
 — markfelician

thank you, mark.
: )
 — fractalcore

waste
waste
waste of a good title
 — unknown

Hmm...
 — unknown

hi, 1st unk.

i know what you mean but you just might be
missing the point of the 2nd strophe.

thanks for reading.
: )
 — fractalcore

2nd unk:

hmm...yeah...
: )
 — fractalcore

seems family air run through it -- your homage writes are write on
 — AlchemiA

hi, AlchemiA.

these great poets deserve the homage.
i will have one just for you, sir, 'coz
you're one of them.
: )
 — fractalcore

  eve wanted that apple
for flambe~
  gracias adam

  and thanks fractal
 — Liliana

how come i'm the only one who needs help with this one? lol.
i get adam and the rib thing, but not this as a whole.
i do think quite highly of the title though.  
very fantastic.
hey frac, how's it goin'
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

Suze
 — unknown

Liliana:

apple for flambe, hmm...
wanna try that sometime.
: )
 — fractalcore

ey, jen. been really busy but doing well.

always a lady behind every
man's success/failure
but can he end she
or her, rather?

thanks always.
: )
 — fractalcore

unknown:

Suze?
: )
 — fractalcore

I broke 2 ribs in december... I did it from coughing so damn hard.  I love Michigan winters!
 — aforbing

thanks for dropping by, aforbing.
so how're you doing now?

hope you're as fit as a mustang again.
: )
 — fractalcore

and Luxy, thanks for the fave.
any broken rib stories of yours?

hopefully not but
i wanna hear it
of course.
: )
 — fractalcore

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