| girls are for licking
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ClayManire
| their skin is so sweet and sometimes | 1 |
salty like the most delectable | 2 |
fine cuisine; | 3 |
the desire to lick | 4 |
it or suck it or bite it or | 5 |
slurp it is, as a matter of taste, | 6 |
a decidedly good one; | 7 |
it shows class and | 8 |
society, passion tempered with good | 9 |
judgement. | 10 |
the aesthetic appeal of | 11 |
experiencing your tongue on | 12 |
the feminine flesh of a breast or | 13 |
buttocks is in the sensual | 14 |
manipulation of the erogenous | 15 |
muscle and fat that belies the skin and | 16 |
responds to the stimulus with | 17 |
agreeable but subtle shifting and | 18 |
dancing; | 19 |
it is sometimes dawdling and | 20 |
awkward as if to a slow jam at | 21 |
a middle school dance and | 22 |
sometimes gracefully flitting and | 23 |
fleeting like to some latin ass-shaker. | 24 |
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28 Sep 08 |
Rated 7.3 (7.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 6, 8, 8
Inactive (0):
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Comments:
well
that's interesting.
playful
scientific
almost like instructions.
i think
i like this poem.
— 1994
Delightful and delicious--nicely done!
— sybarite
maybe lose all or most of the 'it's in l5 and 6?
you use 'sometimes' 3 times. i would delete the first one as that is the most unnecessary.
i will need to re-read this to give a decent critique. right now, i can only say that something seems off or amiss...you know?
— unknown
i think
with the excessive "it"s
it makes it more playful than without.
just my opinion, unk.
— 1994
men are for licking too - bits of this are quite a turn on, especially lines 17-18.
— smugzy
As it may be meant to, it sounds like an impassionate encyclopaedia definition, overtaken and about to burst with experience. Leaving us with a little mystery adn thought.. The pagination reminds me of a formal letter. What is the thought behind this ? Nice...
— shaunsout
This seems way too long for the topic. If you lick the way you write, the girl is going to be annoyed. Yes, 'it is dawdling." Can you tighten it up? Try focusing on one girl, not girls in general. It does not sound like something anyone would want to do, not the way you've written it here.
You might also want to leave the body parts to the imagination, instead of putting in breast and buttocks. Isn't aesthetic appeal about how something looks? You can't watch yourself lick someone, not if you're doing it right!
Just too much, in my opinion.
— Isabelle5
aesthetics deals with the senses in general, not just vision...have you ever been licked isabelle? cuz i think this may actually be too short, especially if the licker can properly lick...have you ever licked a girl?
— unknown
Have I licked a girl? Are you out of your mind? I like MEN. I am familiar with the process, having been licker and lickee, trust me.
I just don't find that your poem conveys any of the breathless fun and sexiness that the action usually has.
— Isabelle5
And why is that because I didn't like the poem, you blamed me for perhaps never having done it?? You should look at your writing, not the reader's experience.
— Isabelle5
merely questions, i don't think blame was conveyed (or intended)...no need for defensiveness...i appreciate your comments...keep licking/being licked
— unknown
haha! I wasn't offended, I was horrified!!
— Isabelle5
you really shouldn't lick girls - they have cooties!!!
— unknown
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