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Yvonne
stout

23 years ago she came to Gullygham
 1
herself emersed in mourning
 2
she came with her personality
 3
her presence
 4
and her love
 5
to live in a mourning family
 6
 
 
to be the heart and soul of a wider
 7
communion
 8
 
 
we all know the heeding from the bible
 9
death comes like a thief in the night
 10
hers came on a holiday
 11
 
 
our believing senses speak
 12
and our human hearts bleed
 13

1 Oct 08

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Comments:

I'm not sure I understand: "our believing senses speak"

I would remove "heart" from L7. Also, you say she came (L3) .. so her presence is establised there and maybe you should remove L4 so that it instead reads: "she came with her personality and her love" etc. And maybe use the word "greater" instead of "wider".
 — SarahMichele

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