poetry critical

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bulb
stout

call the prospering
 1
food shack hope
 2
 
 
no reason
 3
that crumbles
 4
 
 
into the bracken
 5
 
 
into this flaw and first
 6
spent
 7
horror
 8

2 Oct 08


(define the words in this poem)
(50 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

'into' in 6 takes this down. the double is stronger than  the wording of the rest of the poem but doesn't build enough structure to carry it. like, 'down into this bracken, down into this flawed and first spent horror' might be another solution.
 — joey

nicepoem.
 — hank

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