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the static of a winter kiss

it’s not a meeting of lips with rays of sun warming the skin
but warm breath against pale cracked lips
&  “i love you”
followed only by the word “class” & a nod
like we are merely in passing
so a meeting of lovers it is not either
hands remain in jackets --
instead of on my neck or around his waist --
filled with static cling and spark
yet not the kind of spark you get
when he outlines your spine with his hand
it’s the slight sting of pain when
tight lips finally
into each other

14 Jan 09

(define the words in this poem)
(28 more poems by this author)

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i dont like your poem
 — chuckle_s

instead of jackets, maybe you could say pockets L7
and instead of spine, maybe something a little more daring for the ol' heart throb?  i'd hyphenate static-cling, and change 'crash' to something else; seems lips crashing is just odd.  btw, you say lips like 3 times--i bet you could get away without saying lips at all, you may even find something in the poem that way.  

your descriptions are nice
just needs more luring perhaps.
 — jenakajoffer