poetry critical

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The Terrible Beauty
Psyfro

Fear not the thorn of a rose,
 1
But rather the flower itself.
 2
Sharp points will stab only the skin,
 3
Drawing but blood from the wound,
 4
While beauty pricks the soul
 5
Which bleeds salty tears.
 6

10 Feb 09

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Comments:

got the message and sentiment but
i need to see your vital pulse though.
i mean, you'll have to bleed here if
you have to to bring this nice piece
to its potential.

they say the poem is always the poet
and they can never be more right.

thank you for sharing this and be not
afraid to be yourself in your writing.

: )
 — fractalcore

To be honest, i spend most of my time making sure that the people around me CAN'T read my emotions, so showing feeling in any form is going to take a bit of practice for me.  Anger i can do, but pretty much everything else needs work.  i'll see what i can do, but i have no idea what i should change in order to put more emotion into it.

Thanks for the comment, rating, and adding it to your favorites! :)
 — Psyfro

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