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walker jr. high
ambiguos

malicious the coach
 1
his years lived out
 2
wouldn't let me play,
 3
i piled in
 4
at the last second
 5
in the jumbled mess,
 6
from his point of view
 7
he saw it with his clip board,
 8
mr. malice and his favorite
 9
big boys set me up
 10
then got me hurt
 11
for my young mistake,
 12
i felt so damned ashamed
 13
at that practice,
 14
i had come up short
 15
he cut me out
 16
son-of-bitch.
 17
going off the field
 18
rejected,
 19
i lost my taste for school
 20
organized sports,
 21
in my hand loosely
 22
were shoes,helmet,
 23
back to the gym room,
 24
alone.
 25
 
 
Mike Hendershot 2009
 26

8 Mar 09

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Comments:

son of a bitch. /expression

the end of the poem is usually the poignant thing, but thirteen is more of a setting, maybe fiddle it?
~Alex
 — technomancer

thank you for your editing skills, it was very helpful here.
 — ambiguos

the flow from lines 1 to 2 doesn't make sense, it disturbs the rhythm.
 — jerotich

techno helped me with the edit as you may have seen, thanks tecno, i just didn't fiddle well enough, i have removed the line per your observation... thank you good sir... the deal about the thirteen year old boy was real in my life, i did feel alone and others things such as no one there to balance out the shame ... having expert critical feed back from experts is a honor thank you also.
 — ambiguos

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