poetry critical

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because of you, i chew on my pillow

you're one-half beautiful,
at times, i dare to say.
every word of yours
belongs in a ransom note,
underlined or...or threatening.
i dictate emotions to myself
because of you and that.
because of you,
i dream about waking up.
i forget to eat breakfast
and to revise.
call me a puppet but just know that
if my lips were mine and not yours,
i would say that i loved you more
than these words could ever reassure
myself that i do.
because of you,
i leave holes in my writing.
but don't trouble yourself --
i fill them in on Mondays.
and i promise, love,
that i will not stop
until my veins or pens run dry.

8 Mar 09

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i always start my reading with a smile, until my veins or pen run dry... discussion... this is mushy, with to many words that try to get over a point... da-da-da-dah, da-da-da-dah. can you see this... lets see how the chips may fall j.g.smiles
 — goeszon

this feels frantic and disarrayed, it feels obsessed and consumed by this person.  i can relate.  well captured.
 — jerotich