poetry critical

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(re)consider the lilies
sinkingopera

True, they neither toil nor spin (after all,
 1
One can only expect so much from
 2
A mere flower), but it is worth noting
 3
That, be they grown in fertile, well-tended soil
 4
Or a fecal dump chock-a-block with used condoms
 5
And the remains of hasty midnight abortions,
 6
They will bloom nonetheless; indeed, once they are
 7
In the vase, they remain duly circumspect
 8
As to their origin and pedigree.
 9

16 Apr 09

Rated 9.5 (8.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (1): 6, 9

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Comments:

hmm,

point to (re)consider:
are there dogs in magnolias?

monkees are there, next-of-kin.
lilies will evolve to rhyme with line-age.

what an i talking about? :
i like your poem.

: )
 — fractalcore

the contrasting of mud 'n blood to the perfection of beauty in a flower of the hours we have left is the play here -- Water Lilies (or Nympheas) have often been allusions to how consciousness arises from the deep-dark bed of recycled 'n dead, dreams -- nicely done
 — AlchemiA

Brill! Love it.

Line 5's bathos is perfectly done.
 — smugzy

perhaps they are blooming for the discarded babies, after all.  

I think you could do much more with this thought than this poem, which seems to have been hastily put down.  Just a little more work could make it better.
 — Isabelle5

Great contrast depicted in scrupulous terms. I will be more circumspect picking flowers in future
 — larrylark

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