| death is my favorite thought (for a friend)
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Blitzgig
| pattern grapes, | 1 |
golden-, yellow-, green, | 2 |
dead,the taste | 3 |
dead the laughter | 4 |
break bowl | 5 |
roll, scatter | 6 |
under the sky cupboard | 7 |
cloud bounce into my mouth | 8 |
(teeth between) | 9 |
face on floor | 10 |
against red tape. | 11 |
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pals, two skin cells. | 12 |
both dead, grey | 13 |
from two different hosts | 14 |
fell two different days. | 15 |
hello, reach out | 16 |
wrist wasp, kiss hand. | 17 |
knock on the beehive door | 18 |
i am invited in. | 19 |
i cannot behave. | 20 |
i am not invited to stand. | 21 |
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your color palette | 22 |
what it got you? | 23 |
nods, polite requests | 24 |
i am not satisfied here. | 25 |
'every day make an enemy' | 26 |
that what god etched behind my forehead. | 27 |
piano kite, i will play | 28 |
walking out the park one day | 29 |
walking out my suit skin | 30 |
please do not be afraid | 31 |
or feel guilt | 32 |
you were the lamp among chairs. | 33 |
everything is my enemy. | 34 |
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20 Apr 09 |
Rated 9.5 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (2): 1, 9, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(11 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
some good moves here with phrasings that get under the skin -- you've played a simple song with a beat-beat back end accompanied by a goth-surrealism bleeding from your pen --"pals, two skin cells" is my favorite line amongst well made allusions -- good work
— AlchemiA
lines of this piece, read well an are well place together, then the piece swings the other way to the worst... i wonder what you were doing... or was it me... proof read this and see... there is something wrong which stands out is here... j.g. smiles
— goeszon
The last two lines are to die for! Ha. Nice work
— themolly
it's a 10-fave of mine.
: )
— fractalcore
I was right there with you 1st and 3rd paragraph, hot stuff, but reconsider that last line, enemy belongs in the forehead good
— bykguy2000
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