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Afternoon in Manila

this is where i stop.
when raindrops burn like
abnormal sunsets,
and cars
and buses
speed by with i-don't-know-you stares.
i do this often.
with my jacket on, sipping
coffee and nicotine
and whatever it is
i sipped
in the air the last time.
it's when i ask
where are you now, and
what are you doing, and
are you talking to him
that i stop
and speed by with
fuck-you eyes.

21 Apr 09

Rated 9 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8
Inactive (2): 10, 10, 10

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hehe, i like the stares and the eyes!
the 8/9 however, seems far too mundane. sipping coffee and nicotine? this is just a little blah, and maybe it would serve the poem to crank up the pH there and add some pop?
nice poem
 — chuckle_s

"My words fly up, my thoughts remain below"   Hamlet   Act 3  Scene 3...Shakespeare... ending in "fuck you eyes"... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon


: )
 — fractalcore

 — banana

youre welcome
 — chuckle_s

yeah a well captured plaint of looks that dare to stare -- eyes tell us everything from blow-me to ya' don' know-me to looky-loo's everywhere, to big 'n round in surprEYEs eyes 'n looks that just don't care -- nicely done!
 — AlchemiA

 — bohemian

thanks bohemia! you are a fellow filipino if im not mistaken, yea?
 — banana

yes yes - pinoy to the core
 — bohemian