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Afternoon in Manila
banana

this is where i stop.
 1
when raindrops burn like
 2
abnormal sunsets,
 3
and cars
 4
and buses
 5
speed by with i-don't-know-you stares.
 6
 
 
i do this often.
 7
with my jacket on, sipping
 8
coffee and nicotine
 9
and whatever it is
 10
i sipped
 11
in the air the last time.
 12
 
 
it's when i ask
 13
where are you now, and
 14
what are you doing, and
 15
are you talking to him
 16
that i stop
 17
and speed by with
 18
fuck-you eyes.
 19

21 Apr 09

Rated 9 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (2): 8, 10, 10

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Comments:

hehe, i like the stares and the eyes!
the 8/9 however, seems far too mundane. sipping coffee and nicotine? this is just a little blah, and maybe it would serve the poem to crank up the pH there and add some pop?
nice poem
 — chuckle_s

"My words fly up, my thoughts remain below"   Hamlet   Act 3  Scene 3...Shakespeare... ending in "fuck you eyes"... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

nice.

: )
 — fractalcore

thanks
 — banana

youre welcome
 — chuckle_s

yeah a well captured plaint of looks that dare to stare -- eyes tell us everything from blow-me to ya' don' know-me to looky-loo's everywhere, to big 'n round in surprEYEs eyes 'n looks that just don't care -- nicely done!
 — AlchemiA

panalo!
 — bohemian

thanks bohemia! you are a fellow filipino if im not mistaken, yea?
 — banana

yes yes - pinoy to the core
 — bohemian

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