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Pray I'll Age Softly like the Other Good Men
starr

Windows meant
 1
to block out storms
 2
only sealed them in;
 3
 
 
It's black now,
 4
it was black then-
 5
 
 
Still, I pray I'll age softly
 6
like the other
 7
good men.
 8

28 Apr 09

Rated 9.1 (8.2) by 10 users.
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Comments:

finally a simple , good poem... after so many other pieces... what a rest for my eyes... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

What a compliment!  OMG...you just made my whole day!  Thanks, j.g.!  And smiles back at'cha!  :-)
 — starr

Hey, this is exactly what I'd expect about a show I watched recently about the dust bowl!  Amazing but seeing who the author is, I am not at all surprised at the connection.
 — Isabelle5

Thanks, Isabelle!  Another awesome compliment on a beautiful 80 degree New England day.  :-)  Tell me more about the dust bowl you speak of.
 — starr

it's an epic moment .. in scene.. and curiously between scenes.. how so few words contribute to so many thoughts is excellently worked here ...

a fine read ..
 — Feminoid

perhaps 'all but' instead of 'only' - L3, just to give it a kick - its a nice write but it seems kind of monotone, like its missing a beat or something, reads well however.
 — syrossoul

"all but" sealed them in?  Hmmm...syrosoul.  I'm not quite so sure that makes grammatical sense.  I tried reading it out loud substituting "only" with "all but."  It sounds good, but it doesn't make sense to me.  I also checked with a coworker who's an English major and she wasn't feelin' it either.  As for "missing a beat," might it be the word "still" in L6 that's throwing it off?  Do you think I really need it?  Thanks for the props though.  Appreciate it.  :-)
 — starr

Starr, a mistake - 'but only' was my intended suggestion... it kind of works nice off the 'blocked' like a double tap, which is echoed in the second. :)
 — syrossoul

also 'only to' would work, :)
 — syrossoul

(then:  'sealed' to 'seal')
 — syrossoul

Hi again, syrossoul.  :-)
I'm trying it now by inserting the "but" before the "only" in L3, but it's still not working.  If I were to insert the "but" where you're suggesting, it would read:

Windows meant to block out storms but only sealed them in, _________.
This would now require a verb.  However, the way it reads now, there is no other verb required.  It's a statement.  By inserting a conjunction, it would then become a compound sentence.  

English is crazy, but I'm trying to make sense.  :-)
 — starr

hey man, im English, and i dont understand all its mysteries, ignore me i'll go meditate in the corner :)
 — syrossoul

Where I put the blank, there would have to be a helping verb which would require a conditional tense coupled with a past participle, therefore it would weigh down the line with too much clunkety-clunk.  I just wanted to explain the purpose of that blank up there so you would be better able to see what I'm saying.  :-)
 — starr

Go sit in the corner and spit out that gum!  :-)  
 — starr

Starr, you need to pretend this WAS about the dust bowl!  It works for that!  haha

I can't believe how perfect this is for both of our 'visons' that night.  From different sides of the country, too!
 — Isabelle5

It really IS amazing how we're both writing about two different things that are so similar in poetic context!  Interpretation is a wonderful thing, Isabelle.  :-)
 — starr

Feminoid, thankYOU too!  I somehow missed your comment.  I'm glad you like this.  I've always written smaller poems that either bite, kick or punch hard.  xoxo!  :-)
 — starr

I agree with goeszon, this is simple and good.  I've stated before, starr, that you are a master of the short poem that says volumes with few words.  Having said that, give me an english lesson:  should there be a comma after "still" and "softly?"  Also, I know that your titles usually come from the body of the poem, but I'm thinking you could come up with somthing a little stonger, something with a little more bite to it.  I may be way of base on this, but that's how I see it at this moment--I just got home from work and it's 11:45 am--that might be clouding my judgement.  
 — PaulS

I meant 11:45 pm--my judgement is clouded!  Go to bed Paul--goodnight zzzzz
 — PaulS

Paul, I hope u sleep good, dude.  I'm goin' 2 bed too.  My brain is fuckin' FRIED.  :-O
Typically, a comma would follow "still," but I wasn't feeling the pause that a comma would place there.  The pause in itself would disrupt the flow by inserting that breath, so being from Massa-ma-chusetts, I took the "regional" liberty of runnin' the whole line together just for sonic's sake.  A comma doesn't follow "softly" here either for the same reason; I find the added breath disruptive.  Nah...you're not in a haze; you're just hearing it with your own ears and that's good.  You SHOULD hear it with your own ears.  That's what makes poetry so awesome.  As for the new title, you're right.  I wasn't ever really feeling "Black Then."  And you're right again, my titles DO COME from the body of the poems themselves.  Hehe.  You're so observant tonight and I'm sitting here smiling as I write this knowing that you'll agree with me.  LOL.  Thanks for the props to my writing as always.  You make the writer in me feel so beautiful, so potent and so proud.  I'm honored that you hold my poems in such high esteem.  You rock, BROTHA!  Happy Spring and thanks 4 the awesome crit and again, (a comma is needed here!) for the kind words.  Nite.  :-)
 — starr

Paul.  I really AM goin' 2 bed after a Red and the rest of this Coke Plus with Vitamins.  I know that this title also comes from the body of the poem, but I feel in my heart that this pretty much sums up everything a sometimes scared brotha in his 40's would feel at this particular time in his life when everything is really okay even though I tell myself it's not (but it really is and it's been for a while.)  I just gotta stop worrying so much, chill and roll with it.  Yeah...I wanna age like the other good men when I grow up.  (Big, tired, ear to ear, happy grin.)  Nite 4 real this time, bruh.  Thanks 4 bein' you.  :-)
 — starr

Yes, I have to agree, this title works MUCH better from where I sit :)
 — PaulS

Thanks, Paul.  I wanted something both masculine and tender because that's how this brotha rolls.  Much better today after having slept.  :-)
 — starr

postmodernist imagism at its best makes for many reflections from the crystals glittering there -- tight write with the 2nd strophe a playful and painful reminisce -- joseph brodsky wrote that reading Poetry is like watching crystals grow, to which I've added that if reading Poetry is like watching crystals grow than writing Poetry is like crystallizing realEYESations: either way there are a lot of reflections, like in your poem starr
 — AlchemiA

goodness godness! how sublime.

sort of fits my mood, kind of well, kind of goes with my latest...

still...yippee!!1
 — DeformedLion

why is trashpedo writing his poetry in others critical spaces?
 — unknown

nice.

: )
 — fractalcore

I am truly honored.  Thanks, every-1.  Glad u like this.  :-)
 — starr

I'm a bohemian.
 — unknown

unk you're not a very good critic -- you don't develop any literate idea, rather you fall into the like/dislike subjectivity game with the intent of punishing the poet! What don't you like? What would be better?
 — AlchemiA

I've only just arrived to this piece after witnessing a few variations on it.
I think you don't remake or sequelize something as basic and pretty and calming as this.  
That's why a remake of Casablanca will never work.
Anyway, thanks.  Excellent poem
 — aurelius

Oh, except try it without "still" in L6 and see if you like it better.
 — aurelius

I take back what I said before, I hadn't read trashpoodle's yet.
 — aurelius

sweet I just saw the homage changed -- Thanks starryman
 — AlchemiA

You got it, Alch.  :-)  
 — starr

Who is the other good men which starr references in his poem?
 — unknown

Good, good.  
I don't like that 'them' ... maybe if in goes to inside... What I mean is a storm inside a house is a big deal, its glossed over bigtime here, we see them and in, these are weak words the eye is encouraged to keep moving when you are trying to make a big point.  But good on having windows keep a storm inside.  good second part, mmmm
You sure the spacing on good men?  It's such a pretty sentence, meant to be smooth.
like the other good men
I feel there is some inside joke going on because we have noway of knowing the significance of these storms or the windows, but good job, its pretty, its good
 — bykguy2000

i think the title would sound more sophisticated if it were 'pray i'll age softly, as other good men'.  my other thought is that i can't really see why this is so great.  there are few words, and flat ones at that.  i get your short statement-type poems, but this isn't one that does much for me.  
anyway, congrats on all the positive feedback, Starr.
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

i should keep quiet if i can't offer anything.  sorry if my comment wasn't helpful.
 — jenakajoffer

Thanks, bykguy2000.  Appreciate your kind comments.  "Them" would have to stay in order that "storms" has a modifier.  And Jen...thanks for YOUR comments too.  Shitdawg is gonna come through your computer screen and chew up your pocketbook for that.  :-O
 — starr

This is so nice :)
 — tomitar

Succinct and concise, without forcing it. I really like this. Not just because of your NE roots either.
 — TCooks

Thanks, tomitar!  Glad u like it.  Of course, a little moisturizer twice a day doesn't hurt a softly aging man either.  :-)
 — starr

Et ignotas animum dimminit in artes...
 — unknown

Thanks TC  :-)  A couple of people don't get it and it's simple.  It's from the heart of man and it's meant to speak to all men lovingly.  Yeah, we go thru all kinds of shit as men, but there are men who dodge the rain and there are men who get through the storms.  It would take a woman who is 100% connected to her man to gain anything from this poem.  I'm still afraid.  I don't go 2 church because I think it's bullshit, but I still always pray to the One who hears me.  Don't need the Bible and don't need church for that; just an open, loving (and often times insecure as hell) heart/mind.
I write so I can put it somewhere else and actually like it.  If I couldn't write about it and hopefully inspire or help someone with it, then I wouldn't write at all.  It's therapy, "bruh."  Peaceout.  :-)
 — starr

At the risk of being called an asshole or some other equally objectionable name by the author, I would say personally I see little of merit in this extremely scrappy piece of prose.
The title alone is an exercise in low grade English, and does little to entice the reader further.
Most educated English speakers would raise more than an eyebrow at such duplicated illiteracy.
 — unknown

No worries there, bruh.  Your opinion; you're certainly entitled to it.  You're also in the minority.  More people appreciated it than not, so...I'm happy.  Can't please everyone and don't have to either.  :-)
 — starr

p.a.  Did you need a thesaurus to come up with any of that mumbo jumbo btw?  It seems to overcompensate for what could have been a much simpler critique.  :-O
 — starr

p.s. not p.a. btw.  Keyboard sticks.  
 — starr

i don't think this poem is very well written. it is sort of boring, and doesn't have a point. oh well, better luck next time.
 — unknown

probably you have to have a feeling for poetry, and maybe have lived outside a galleria culture and maybe read a book at least, to be able to read any kind of poem on this site. as a crit, i have to say that your crit style is lamer.
 — trashpoodle

way to comment on the comment. that's pretty 'lamer'. why not try hgtv, i'm sure there might be a good program on how to cause azaleas to wilt by frowning at them, funny man.
 — unknown

For christ sake unknown, what friggin universe are you from.  You don't think this is very well written?  You have no grasp of the english language and obviously don't no the meaning of metaphor.
 — PaulS

PaulS, please be so kind in all your poetic knowledge and help a fellow poet on this workshop by explaining to me what makes this poem so wonderful. please explain this metaphor, as i am really trying to learn. thank you PaulS.  
 — unknown

hellooooo? PaulS? no response? i've waited a good five minutes and you were right on my comment immediately, what gives, 'brotha'?
 — unknown

that's what i thought. good night, then.
 — unknown

he is speaking about his life, how it was in his youth and how it is still the same--hoping things get better as he ages.  sorry to ruffle your feathers. I just got home from work and had a bad night --you just happened to be the first i took it out on.  my apologies.
 — PaulS

This Poem is like licking honey from the razors edge -- there are storms all around, inside 'n out, made of reasonable doubt, made of hopes 'n wishes -- from a man who sees people in sickness everyday at his work, here he encapsulates this in a simple heart felt prayer -- yes, to age softly instead of sink in the odiousness of black hates 'n fears like so many do -- my GF is a Nurse and 4 out of 5 folks die in misery and animal reactions, hitting and screaming their anguishes -- and he prays, because prayers are a means of being a creator of what you are becoming, of what you strive to be and starr prays to go softly, with eyes wide open, into that place where all good men go, that place only a soft juicy heart can know --
 — AlchemiA

pray that we go Intelli-gently with the juice of our becomings going toward the goal, of this only our hearts can know
 — AlchemiA

Simple, yet effective.  The word "still" in L6 is a little jarring to the melody though.
 — magnet

Thanks magnetic one.  The "still" is needed so that the need for this prayer was and is currently reflected in the overall sentiment.  In other words, even when there WERE hard times, I prayed and even though there ARE hard times, I STILL pray this little prayer.  Thanks 4 da sniff.  If you're the magnet, am I the steel? :-)
 — starr

it's if you were a sheep I'd be a cow.
 — unknown

Okay, magnetic one, what I did was switched it from "I still pray..." to "Still, I pray."  Thanks 4 catchin' rhythmic little flaw for me.  That's what makes this workshop a "workshop."  :-)
 — starr

unknowable, it's not illiteracy, it's just that they don't read a lot of poetry outside this personal world of web poetry. you have to accept that, for these two, this is an innovative writing -- starr is a genuine talent and he's inventing modern poetry -- re-inventing it -- but doing it in an authentic way. he's not just cloning. and paul is working on the assumption that poetry is about saying something personal and important. it is, and everyone has their own experience in life, and the rest of us have a lot of experience writing poetry and know all these moves already and aren't bewitched by them. you, however, seem to be a lurker and parasite and that's another kind of writing and probably why you can't let go enough to read poetry. it would mean you'd lose your parasitic attachment to the good people here and have to swim with sharks. if we're sycophants, what does that make you? you're standing too close, buddy. back off.
 — trashpoodle

I love the wisdom in this, knowledge of the inevitable and 'soft' acceptance, the sentiment is better for the shortness of the piece, bravo again starr
 — sherains

Mike, thank you for your defending my honor/writing from the freaky unknown who likes to sling shit for the fun of it and sherains, thank you too for your tender comment.  I'm glad this resonates with you.  :-)
 — starr

The title gives away what's coming in the last stanza. I liked this, but I think the title needs to be changed. With such a compact piece, you don't want the title to be mirroring the words in the poem itself.
 — unknown

Thanks...you're right.  It used to be called "Black Then," but then someone said that title was too vague.  Any suggestions for a fresher title that doesn't give so much away?  :-O
 — starr

it's actually traditional to name this short and one-message kind of poem after the first line. in fact, it's seen as showing respect for the idea in the poem, and when we name a poem we're, in a way, telling the reader what we expect them to find in the poem. that can sometimes not be pleasant. like, "my thoughts on death" is an example, where the reader is finding so much more than that anyway.

but, 'black, then...' is a little cartoony, like a graphic-poem. the subject of the poem is, really, 'them', and these old men are the ones being pointed to. it seems to me that naming it after any other 'mood' or intention you have for this poem would seem careless. but, 'other good men' really does go over the top, because it's such a short poem and that's almost a third of the poem.

it's possible that the unknown simply isn't familiar with how poems are named -- like, being comfortable with all the 'shakespeare sonnets' being only called by their first line? because, i felt that you'd named it correctly. the idea of 'vague', too, the way he's presented it is naive -- as though a poem were a newspaper story and needed a 'hook' to catch a reader. when people read a poem they're most already looking for a poem, and a poem means 'language used in a special way' for them -- they're already looking beyond the title and into the substance. it's at the end of read that we glance up and see the title and think how appropriate or not it looks.
 — trashpoodle

Mike, it's interesting to me how you interpret this poem to be about death, because it's not at all about death.  It's about the storms of manhood and the rising above those storms and conquering them.  They say stress makes a man (or a woman) age; the contrary is apparent here.  With the right outlook with regard to stress, is it possible that we remain (somehow) ever youthful?  That's what's so fascinating about poetry- how it's interpreted by others so differently.  Death...the thought never ever entered my mind while writing this poem.  :-)
 — starr

actually, you know, i made that set of variations on this poem and i took it there too as death. because, even though the narrator's voice is showing these guys having succeeded in some way to impress a young person, what's actually being talked about is mortality itself, and the parent poem to this one is Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". when an old guy sees this he sees the old guys you're pointing to and thinks about what they're worried about, and how messed up and confused they are in some ways. and, if it's about seeming to be serene, then an old guy like me has noticed that they're mostly drugged up or boozed out or simply senile. even when they are friendly looking to kids it's cause they know enough not to scare the kids. the levels of meaning in this allow it to be ambiguous, but, when you reduce it down to the basis of all the attempts to survive, 'death' and your relationship to is is actually the theme of poems like this.

for a young man, it's all about swimming upstream anyway. like, it would have been as useful for you then to have written about middle-aged baseball players... pray i'll play strongly...
 — trashpoodle

There appears to little point in giving this entry serious consideration, the moderators do not allow criticism.
It suffice to say that concept is by no means original.
 — unknown

mike,

your last comment just made me think
that maybe i'm getting old, too.

there's a clear contrast between starr's
original work and all the others written
in response to it. i can only guess what
you're really feeling with respect to that
final moment without having to read your
variations but starr's post was really a
big nudge to our dormant issues and/or
sentiments.

thank you for that, starr.
i'll be back tomorrow for a better
comment.

: )
 — fractalcore

well, i'm still here, i think,





but my head's in a spin.

]: )
 — fractalcore

well, i'm still here, i think,





but my head's in a spin.

: )
 — fractalcore

Thanks, Frac!  I'm honored that this has been doing so well and I'm so glad you like it.  You're always so sweet to me and I appreciate that.  :-)
 — starr

To everyone else who likes this piece, I am so honored that it resonates with you too.  This is its 3rd ride to #1 Top Rated in the month it's been posted.  This makes an author so incredibly happy.  May we ALL age softly like the other good men/women.  :-)
 — starr

the 'unfavorable' were just nasty graffiti posts and didn't offer crits. if you'd have paid attention you'd have seen them... assuming it wasn't you that posted them and that you actually thought that just having an opinion meant anything in a poetry workshop. you've got to talk about why and how you think something, and you're not even doing that with this protest of yours.
 — trashpoodle

Regardless of its quality, you've certainly stirred the pot.  Wish I could get this much attention.
 — aurelius

On a decent poetry site, it would not have got a second reading, let alone a ten.
Kiss ass votes count for nothing.
— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

Would not have GOTTEN.  Speak for yourself on poor grammar.  Did someone say G.E.D.?, maybe summer school for English?  That's for the unknown who is extremely known and Aurelius...thank you.  This poem definitely does not apply to the Mor.  That's hardly a good man at all.  That's something much less.  :-)
 — starr

the "grammar" thing is a non-issue, because this unknown's 'grammar' is a clerk's grammar -- a frozen language move which is against the nature of language. a poem is made in its own grammar, and the poet doesn't have to write as though he were writing a letter to the editor because the poem isn't about "facts" -- the poem is the "fact". i don't know why people think that grammar is this thing they learned in school -- it's the thing that coursed them into talking in public when they were a tiny child -- and the natural moves of sounding play into the public talk, and what works among people becomes the way of hearing and speaking -- that's all a grammar is... there is no 'scientific' thing you can find in language that is beyond what we get away with saying. and, 'good grammar' is a notion for teaching children, but not a sign of superior intelligence. when adults get together they talk so that they don't sound dumb, and they talk in whatever way the group knows is comprehensible.

rationality -- the contrasting of one thing to another, and its way, its 'logic' only applies when there's some conflict in facts. "logic" isn't "logical" and "grammar" is a description of how words work in any society, not some one perfect society in state university in the sky.
 — trashpoodle

Well said Mike.
 — PaulS

the one-gunner troll-gnome shoots down your poem with a one 'cause they're inchoate in the hemispheres of the heart
 — AlchemiA

It's all good, Alch.  This poem and its sentiments enjoyed 3 weeks at #1 Top Rated and inspired quite a few of the "other good men" in the process.  I don't sweat 1's.  I laugh at people like that who inject such feverish hatred into a poetry forum as they would a video game.  I can see 'em now sitting at their desks firing away.  It's really quite amusing.  They'll age the same way too; hateful, vindictive and with one purpose in life, to rob others of their joy.  Too bad it doesn't work on me.  :-)
 — starr

'gotten' is a the past-tense of 'got' and is of the older dutch form which came to be called 'english'. we use it because our english language froze at our inception as an english foundation in the 17th century. it's a fine thing to have a rich language based on the old forms, and, had you gotten a better history you'd have more of a language yourself now. certainly, we don't have to be embarrassed by the French, over here, and have had no need to continue to flatten our native way of talking into that ill-pronounced celtic, overlain by kitchen Latin, and continually modified by the continual reminder of the presence of the French invader's superiority of 'pork' instead of 'pig'; 'language' forced upon both proprietor and slavey of the British Archipelago. no, sirrah, we shall not speak the passived tongue of the continental nation which is your elocution, bidden to the French mudgeon and holding no ancestor save a handful of 'sovereigns'. for, though we be dammed to hell with our archaic ways, we shall parse together or we shall surely parse the biscuits.
 — trashpoodle

It's got, gotten, have gotten, have got...pick 1.  They're all acceptable and they're all correct.
 — starr

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.  :-)
 — starr

I think this is gentle and powerful. Also, I can't help but think of Dylan Thomas when I see the words "good men" in poetry.
 — RfrancisR

RfrancisR, again, thank you so much for your comments and appreciation of my work.  It means a lot to an author.  It's great to have you here too.  :-)
 — starr

i don't understand the second stanza.
great poem though :)
You could write a whole other poem on the first stanza.
 — Anachocolata

Thanks for checkin' this out, Anachocolata!  Love your screen name too!  If you read the other comments, you'll get a better feel for it.  Take care.  :-)
 — starr

rubbish card verse
 — unknown

I don't make rubbish.  I burn it and boy, do u STINK.  :-O
 — starr

Very simple, quiet, reflective, dense and clear--very beautiful.
 — andyleggett

Thanks, Andy!  Appreciate the read/comment.  Peace.  :-)
 — starr

i like your poem.
 — noodleman

Thanks, Noodleman!  I'm glad!  :-)  
 — starr

Had to come back here and marvel at this poem, I still admire it so much, starr.
 — RfrancisR

Short and sweet.  A gem and an instant classic.  Nicely conveyed on the 28th.
 — JKWeb

RfrancisR and JK, thank you.  I'm humbled and honored that you relate so much to this poem.  It's always important that others are reached by what it is a writer has to say.  Happy New Year to you both and to all whom have commented on this poem so favorably over the past year.  :-)
 — starr

Beautiful.
 — Still_Ill

I pray I'll age hard.  

My face is soft and heart tender; I wish to acquire the rough-hewn quartz-like physiognomy of Robert Duvall, with a thing in my chest like an amputated fist still gripping a hand grenade.  I want scars and the veteran swagger of a bull fighter, or  trigger man, or international art thief.
I wish to throw these windows open and let the thunder bellow, feel the lightning fly out from my skin and crackle the air.  To inspire the darkness into light.

But unlike the poets you list in the footnote, I can afford the luxury of such thinking.
 — aurelius

Thanks, Still_Ill and aurelius for your comments!  Appreciate the reads!  :-)
 — starr

wow. so elegant and crisp...and yes it reminded me too of the Dust Bowl
 — Ansel

This is sweet- soft and sweet. Yes.
 — mandolyn

Ansel & mandolyn:  Thanks 4 your comments!  Much, much appreciated!  :-)
 — starr

Good, but I don't see why it's a top rated. I don't see the mass appeal, except maybe for the first stanza.
 — Callisto

Hmmmm...I'm not sure if I should be flattered or repulsed by this.  Either way, I'm honored that this poem continues to have variations written on it since it first appeared a year ago on P.C., so tanx 4 DATT!  :-O/:-)
— starr           [!]

This was found offensive by the author of the original poem ("Pray I'll Age Softly like the Other Good Men") and suspended.  
— plath           [!]


wtf, mate? offended, really?
 — Still_Ill

You can ignore the last two posts, Still_Ill.  They're cut and pasted from some other poem.  You know...the typical unknown b.s. that happens here.  Makes 'em feel like they got big balls when all they got is marbles.  :-)  
 — starr

You can tell they're cuts & pastes because my name beneath them is in black and it's supposed to be in blue to show authenticity.  :-)
 — starr

Callisto, probably because people like it and it says something while remaining terse???  I'm not sure.  I certainly never expected it to stay Top Rated #1 for 3 weeks in a row.  Beats the SHIT outta ME why.  :-O
 — starr

it's a costume piece, where everyone in it's running around in lace and velvet and pretending to be 18th century pretending to be 16th century. most people don't read 16th century often enough to become familiar with more than a word like 'pray', and that makes this 'authentic olde tymey', like a tourist stop in new hampshire. it's self-conscious writing, though possibly felt, like 'desiderata', and stylistically it's like sheryl crow singing 'greensleeves'. a poetry critical local contest winner, but not much as wording or invention for anyone who's read a poem or two.
 — bmikebauer

Actually, Mike.  It's very contemporary and modern writing.  I wasn't around in the centuries you're speaking of, nor does my writing even come close to these times which you are depicting it does.  And you forgot about the 1990 Pushcart Prize nomination too.  Apparently, a FEW people out there on poetry panels think otherwise of my "wording or invention."    
 — starr

starr, that was a comment made by you on Slay’d, I’ll Rage @ Hardee’s like the Other Perverted Men.

and then mod plath suspended it, claiming you were offended.
 — Still_Ill

What a nice work.  It is wan, but purely of grace.
It is short, gets the thought expressed in the minimal number of words needed.
I have no crits.  It gets a "ten" for being "just right".  Put to my list of "favorites".


be happy?  Praying, in the metaphoric sense, is good, I suppose.
to  actualize anything: we MUST make the change ourselves, yes?
So, my motto:  "refuse to be unhappy" (for any length of time).
Why? Because self loathing or worry will kill any human prematurely.

Thanks for the good work.  R.W smiles too.
 — R_Reid_Welch

Awwwwwwwwwwwww!  I love you, Reid!  Thanks!  :-)
 — starr

It's still a lovely and near-perfect verse.
 — andyleggett

Another AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  Thanks, Andy!  Glad u can still derive something from it, buddy!  :-)
 — starr

The ability to derive something out of it is what makes it good poetry.
 — andyleggett

Indeed, Andy and thanks again.  :-)
 — starr

Starr..im coming on this one a bit late in the game..but bravo..beautiful writing..definitely a fav..
 — brother_sun

Thanks brother_sun for your usual kind words, buddy.  Glad this resonates with u, my friend.  Hope you're well TOO.  :-)
 — starr

Matter of opinion.  This sat at #1 Top Rated for 3 consecutive weeks and the comments support this.  You're just jealous cuz you wish your poetry had as much range, depth, variety and flava as mine does.  Sadly, yours never will because on the inside, these qualties evade you.  You clearly have no range, depth nor flavor.  It's the same shit every day and you love to cram it down peoples' throats.  You're a psychic vampire, but I've had your # all along, so u don't affect me.  I've been "on" to your poison for years now.  :-)
 — starr

I'll age softly like the other good men while you'll just age with your fluttering wings that simply refuse to "lift off the page."  Again, stay off my shit or I'll call the mods to keep u off it.  That simple.  I have no respect for you as a writer because for one who preaches like one, you sure don't deliver the goods.  Delusions are that way.  
 — starr

This sat at #1 Top Rated for 3 consecutive weeks and the comments support this

— what. ever.

it took me a while but i found myself a better place where i regarded the rating system as a rat gnawing at my gut. it is utterly useless. praise is good though, from your peers, the melting birthday candles may hold no heat, just glory in their luminous regard.
 — DeformedLion

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