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blackened streets and charcoal lanes
silentspring

i regret.
 1
still aching.
 2
the feel of sore bones sobbing.
 3
screaming out fighting
 4
                       this nonstop movement.
 5
im running harder than i ever have before.
 6
gasping for air that is simply
 7
          rejected
 8
               in lungs full of puncture holes.
 9
but i stupidly attempt to breathe.
 10
pounding down concrete streets.because that's whats left.
 11
light steps are for those with level heads.
 12
and i worry if i dont crash down
 13
             solid will no longer be believably under each footfall.
 14
sometimes i pray
 15
      bones might shatter, that i will outrun
 16
 
 
                   even myself
 17
 
 
         be released from steel roads
 18
defying gravity to break the pacing steps.
 19
      i despise the rain
 20
                    brutally tormenting unprotected eyes.
 21
   but its easier to miss the rundown houses. the reminders.
 22
 
 
tangible.
 23
to run is to procrastinate. you never outdistance disaster.
 24
but watch me.
 25
          one day this tattered body is destined to lose.
 26
fate whispers that the constant battle with solid hatred
 27
                                                                        must end.
 28
                     because who can outrun life itself?
 29
 
 
but for now
 30
        i forget the anguish of my legs.
 31
        black out the searing pain in my head.
 32
with each step
 33
i imagine this is what abandonment must be.
 34
           who could blame a horse for reaching out for
 35
                   that ever illusive freedom
 36
                     with each stride. because what do they have left.
 37
 
 
nothing is more than possible.
 38
yesterday caught me tripping along ragged planks.
 39
scratching the freshly grown armor
 40
        showing me pink skin still listlessly attempting to heal.
 41
and for a moment i forgot the will to stand.to start.
 42
just cried.
 43
this must be failure.
 44
          "love is watching someone die." but it seems
 45
         people are tired of watching me live.
 46
 
 
and the rain is a good excuse to close my eyes. to let myself hurt without restraint.
 47
           back to pounding down blackened streets.
 48
still aching.
 49
i regret.
 50

6 May 09

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Comments:

I had to read this twice to get the full scope of this poem (I'm a little slow today, I switched to de-caf) but this is cool.  Heavy thoughts...good work.
 — JKWeb

thanks JKWeb. sorry bout the de-caf haha i dont know how you do it.
 — silentspring

silent.
 — unknown

umm yes unknown?
 — silentspring

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