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Bedtime Story
Isabelle5

He came in through the window,
 1
red cape lined in black, which I
 2
quickly pointed out was not
 3
the classic vampire color combination.
 4
 
 
I watched a dewclaw drawn through his hair
 5
like a comb, undulating silver
 6
beneath my lamp’s harsh glare.
 7
 
 
“Why’d you pick the full moon?”
 8
 
 
“The better to see you with, my dear,”
 9
he quipped, eluding my attempts
 10
at cape defloration.
 11
 
 
Later, naked on the bed,
 12
I dug my nails into his back.
 13
“Draw blood!” he moaned -
 14
I gladly obliged.
 15
 
 
I let him lick my damp fingers,
 16
reminding him that it’s not
 17
polite to smack your lips.
 18
 
 
It was after mid-night before
 19
I realized that I had not
 20
even invited him in.
 21
 
 
In the pocket of his cape,
 22
I found holy water and
 23
an old oak cross, sharpened
 24
to a fierce point.
 25
 
 
Standing briefly before my mirror,
 26
I wondered where my image
 27
 
 
had flown.
 28
 
 
He was so sweet.
 29

26 May 09

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (2): 6, 9, 10, 10

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Comments:

A 10 with no comment?  I'd like to know what you liked, please!
 — Isabelle5

i liked all of it.
 — raskolniikov

Gee, I wonder what (who) inspired this today!  haha
 — Isabelle5

campy but irresistible like the vampires hypnotic eyes and razor blade smile -- l26-28 my favourite as a poetic polemic -- I'd of like'd more blood in this one with viscereality sex as the exchange of liquids with each other -- they say watching a horror flick is good for juicing up a date as the fight/flight stimulus is in close quarters with writhing in passionate embrace -- Zombies are my favourite metaphor for the dead masses stuck in corporate cubicals -- when my mom dressed up to go out on a date with lipstick and makeup she reminded me of a vampire when I was 11 -- I still see makeup like that and find moovie stars of various sorts to be very vampire like
 — AlchemiA

Thanks, Alchemia.  I was going to add more blood but it was too gushy and a lot too gross, the way I had it in mind!  This is a poem that was headed one way and turned my hand quite sharply in a new direction.  I love those, the 'let go and you can write yourself' things, don't you?
 — Isabelle5

Ha..I wasn't referring to this kind of bedtime story.
Good writing though.

Sam
 — unknown

Yes, very good writing.  I DO love how your mind works Isabelle :)
 — PaulS

;-)

if i inspired this then i am pleased to have done so.
 — raskolniikov

hahaha!  You did, Rask, and thank you!  It seems we all have 'altar' egos, yes?
 — Isabelle5

unique. i think the ending offsets everything, but to an awesome level. your poems are difficult to critique. this poem is an example of that.

but i did like the humor in it, i'm wondering if there was satire involved.
 — listen

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