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Bedtime Story

He came in through the window,
red cape lined in black, which I
quickly pointed out was not
the classic vampire color combination.
I watched a dewclaw drawn through his hair
like a comb, undulating silver
beneath my lamp’s harsh glare.
“Why’d you pick the full moon?”
“The better to see you with, my dear,”
he quipped, eluding my attempts
at cape defloration.
Later, naked on the bed,
I dug my nails into his back.
“Draw blood!” he moaned -
I gladly obliged.
I let him lick my damp fingers,
reminding him that it’s not
polite to smack your lips.
It was after mid-night before
I realized that I had not
even invited him in.
In the pocket of his cape,
I found holy water and
an old oak cross, sharpened
to a fierce point.
Standing briefly before my mirror,
I wondered where my image
had flown.
He was so sweet.

26 May 09

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (2): 6, 9, 10, 10

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A 10 with no comment?  I'd like to know what you liked, please!
 — Isabelle5

i liked all of it.
 — raskolniikov

Gee, I wonder what (who) inspired this today!  haha
 — Isabelle5

campy but irresistible like the vampires hypnotic eyes and razor blade smile -- l26-28 my favourite as a poetic polemic -- I'd of like'd more blood in this one with viscereality sex as the exchange of liquids with each other -- they say watching a horror flick is good for juicing up a date as the fight/flight stimulus is in close quarters with writhing in passionate embrace -- Zombies are my favourite metaphor for the dead masses stuck in corporate cubicals -- when my mom dressed up to go out on a date with lipstick and makeup she reminded me of a vampire when I was 11 -- I still see makeup like that and find moovie stars of various sorts to be very vampire like
 — AlchemiA

Thanks, Alchemia.  I was going to add more blood but it was too gushy and a lot too gross, the way I had it in mind!  This is a poem that was headed one way and turned my hand quite sharply in a new direction.  I love those, the 'let go and you can write yourself' things, don't you?
 — Isabelle5

Ha..I wasn't referring to this kind of bedtime story.
Good writing though.

 — unknown

Yes, very good writing.  I DO love how your mind works Isabelle :)
 — PaulS


if i inspired this then i am pleased to have done so.
 — raskolniikov

hahaha!  You did, Rask, and thank you!  It seems we all have 'altar' egos, yes?
 — Isabelle5

unique. i think the ending offsets everything, but to an awesome level. your poems are difficult to critique. this poem is an example of that.

but i did like the humor in it, i'm wondering if there was satire involved.
 — listen