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NEW YORK FADES
nemissk8

recently revised

The dream of New York fades
 1
As the city parts ways with itself
 2
Divorcing self from self
 3
Gentrification paves the way as
 4
The shoddy is now sheen
 5
And the decrepit is somehow posh
 6
I fear  
 7
Severity skips a step
 8
With every naïve hipster
 9
That insists himself upon Brooklyn
 10
And then forces Queens
 11
To bear the excess of his person
 12
Laying siege to
 13
Borough after uprooted borough
 14
The Bronx is scared shitless
 15
As each stranger carries
 16
A silent tax on the local dive and
 17
An inevitable burden  
 18
On the price of pizza
 19
Yeah
 20
The Village streets bleed and the East River
 21
Swells with resentment
 22
Harlem enjoys the go-fuck-ya-self irony of it all
 23
And the East Bronx puffs up its chest
 24
New York finds itself
 25
Beside itself
 26
 
 
As New York
 27
Fends off new New Yorkers
 28
Who don’t dig New Yorkers
 29
But who so desperately
 30
Want to be dubbed New Yorkers
 31
Each new New Yorker
 32
More New York than the next.
 33
 
 
New York
 34
   Loses itself
 35
      From
 36
         Within
 37
 
 
             HELP
 38
 
 
 
 
(Original Version)
 39
The dream of New York fades
 40
As the city parts ways with itself
 41
Divorcing self from self
 42
Gentrification paves the way as
 43
The shoddy is now sheen
 44
And the decrepit is somehow posh
 45
I fear  
 46
Severity skips a step
 47
With every naïve hipster
 48
That insists himself upon Brooklyn
 49
And then
 50
Forces Queens to bear the overflow
 51
The Bronx is scared shitless
 52
 
 
Each stranger carries
 53
A silent tax on the local dive and
 54
An inevitable burden  
 55
On the price of pizza
 56
Yeah
 57
The Village streets bleed and the East River
 58
Swells with resentment
 59
20As Harlem enjoys the go-fuck-ya-self irony of it all
 60
And the East Bronx puffs up its chest
 61
New York finds itself
 62
Beside itself
 63
 
 
And New York
 64
Fends off new New Yorkers
 65
Who don’t dig New Yorkers
 66
But who so desperately
 67
Want to be dubbed New Yorkers
 68
Each new New Yorker
 69
More New York than the next.
 70
 
 
 
 
New York
 71
Loses itself
 72
From
 73
Within
 74
 
 
 
 
HELP
 75

12 Jun 09

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Comments:

i appreciate the repetitions in 23-7. i felt the ending part 28-32 was too affected and the poem could stand its removal.
 — chuckle_s

i will definitely reconsider those lines
 — unknown

    The dream of New York fades, On the price of pizza, Each stranger carries, the Bronx is scared shitless, New York finds itself, Beside itself, more New York than the next, HELP, 911
i know i have pissed off someone... j.g. smiles... curiously written well...
 — goeszon

I've never been to New York but can so appreciate exactly what this poem is saying...it transcends its geography extremely well, which is a sign of a good poem. This could easily be applied to Strathcona (a district in Vancouver) ;~).
Did you mean "loses" in L33?
Well done.
 — Cocoa

thanks for the crits. and good eye cocoa on the type-o
 — nemissk8

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