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Trials, Times, Tinge, and a lack of Tragedy
cubbzor

Low rumble of
 1
the bass ampli-
 2
fire
 3
 
 
asleep in the
 4
back seat genu-
 5
wine
 6
 
 
high at a
 7
glance or back-
 8
warts
 9

20 Jun 09

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Comments:

I think I see where you're goin' with this poem but I can't quite grasp the concept...it's certainly clever, the wordplay involved but I'm still not completely trackin'.  However, you're a good weaver of words with lots of potential...
 — JKWeb

This is rudimentary.  Anyone can find words whose last syllables are phonetically similar to other words.  Although I appreciate your attempt to manipulate language on a structural level, this is less like a poem and more like a list of superficial, linguistic observations, without cohesion.  Because you are aware of the possibility of dismantling language, you do have potential.  I just don't think that you've reached it with this particular poem.    
 — unknown

The above was written by me, SodaKid.  I accidentally pushed the post anonymously button.  
 — SodaKid

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