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i can tell you yes like yes

I can tell you yes like
yes coriander and fennel torrent,
fire-lit table and rosewater
and yes like
yes open window, damp
towel on forehead when the
heat’s wet and
hardening; your words,
your breath make me
I can tell you yes like
yes cement leaf stains,
child’s blurry street chalk
three blocks away you
smear one day with
your hand; I ask if you
meant to and you never
and yes like
yes teeth I never see,
your smile on leave
in some exotic; it
takes pictures of cafes
it visits, sends me
letters but forgets the
I can tell you yes like
yes other hand I know isn’t
mine; yes inwardly I wonder
if you know that,
and yes like
yes toilet paper I buy
in the smaller pack; yes moss
in the shower that grows less
I can tell you yes like
yes tamarind, yes loose
filling, yes resting dough
and yes boiling
and yes like
yes I don’t prepare
as much food
I can tell you yes like
yes I'm not sure my
yes is a
yes at all,
just no like
no so tender
when touched it

29 Jun 09

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 10, 10

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    Mostly what i got out of this was yes... to a lot of things ha-ha... never yes to marriage though, perhaps in wisdom... your writing was good an your thoughts were good, they took me everywhere, a lot of thoughts went into this piece... J. G. Smiles
 — goeszon

47-49 seems too explanatory, or maybe just "I never really say" could be reworded?

love love the diminishing lines to the final no

this poem is the bitter of an orange rind and the far away of everything
 — Ananke

Thanks for the feedback! I think you're right, Ananke, I will find a better phrasing for that line.
 — intocosmos

Much better now. If I could change my 10 to an 11, I would.
 — Ananke

line 23 is there a word missing after exotic?
 — unknown

nice composition, structure to this... nice touch on the final stanza ;)
 — syrossoul


No, there is not a missing word, I'm using exotic as a noun.
 — intocosmos