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A Didactic Concrete
Redlander

Fighters are never Appeasers never are fighters
 1
                               never
 2
                  Fight the Fear the fight
 3
                                any
 4
         Death before Dishonor before death
 5
                                they
 6
                Face their Turn their face
 7
                                and
 8
              Never say Always say never
 9
                              serve
 10
        Country before Self before country
 11
                            interests
 12
 
 
                             Never
 13
             Share your Love  your share
 14
     Love people not Things not people love
 15
                 listening          listening
 16
  Only    love people          Never   love     things
 17
  Love    people only          Love     things  never
 18
  People only    love          Things   never   love
 19

30 Jun 09

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (1): 10, 10

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Comments:

I was experimenting with an acrostic and came up with this. I couldn't find what it would fall under so I combined Didactic and Concrete poems and came up with the title. Try reading it vertically as well as horizontally. Hope you guys like it. Redlander
 — Redlander

This is incredible.  No criticisms. I am simply blown away.  I love the language, the format, the rhythm, everything.  It makes me hyper aware about the significance of terms like "fighters" and "dishonor".  Our culture is dissected by this poem.  Keep experimenting.
 — SodaKid

Wow, you can read it so many different ways.  That's what I love about it.  It is, in a sense, multi-dimensional.  
 — SodaKid

nice poem :) will read this a few times more and come back with something...
 — syrossoul

not multi-dimensional. multi-angled.

interesting to look at. annoying to read.
 — DeformedLion

What a pleasant surprise! I was just playing around with words and positioning and never expected to get such positive comments! SodaKid you're too kind.  syrossoul always a pithy comment thanks. DeformedLion, it is multidimentional read it from behind, under, as well as above and the inside out! Just kidding, I'm glad I got any response since that shows some type creativity as opposed to just moving on to another poem without any reaction. Again thank you guys.
 — Redlander

Hmmm
 — unknown

A shameless self bounce for my second poem.
 — Redlander

I'm not sure what to say, at first I hated it, was about o put it in the " too artsy for it's own good" folder, but , but, I repeat, but I do like it, it's creative, but it still hod merrit.
I don't like the use of Appeasers ( is that really a word) also the way the first line is a bit off kilter from the rest I think greatly detracts from the entire poem.
lines 17-19 just seem to repeat what line 15 already said, and said quit well too.
I might be missing something there. This will take some serious rereading.
 — Solstice

First of all thank you Solstice for taking the time to read my piece, secondly "appeasers" is a word the plural of appeaser, thirdly I think I fixed the lines so they're not too off kilter now, and lines 15-19 were added on after the poem was submitted and I was just experimenting with some additional words and phrases I was trying to line up vertically as well as horizontally. Any way thanks for the read and comments and what is "hod merrit"?
 — Redlander

Sorry I ent to say Hold Merrit, which upon further reading also doesn't makealot of sense. So um what I should of just said is upon rereadig it a few times it grew on me : )
 — Solstice

gneiss.

; )
 — fractalcore

Thank you Solstice I'm glad it grew on you & fractalcore for calling it "gneiss" you're  too kind. And I'm going to give myself another shameless plug with another oldie but, I hope, goodie.
 — Redlander

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