eyelids soft-lee turned
too duh brake off
written may 2, 2009
a prequel to crash coarse
with special thanks to:
trashpoodle, AlchemiA & starr
to one particular unknown:
no, this is not a book but a
page in someone's book of life.
9 Jul 09
(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)
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woohh. that's really good, mr. core -- really nice moves in this. very cool to do this too! thanks very much!
'dei opus', pulled me way inside and gnarly, and 'up, dare...' was the glistening counter. wow.
You're a bit above me but thanks all the same.
this takes me above and over any zen-ith. too bad i could'nt steal anymore of your Golden ink
oops, day took, eat, a whey!
but no, nothing's stolen nor restored
neither above nor beneath, not cool nor bad,
no good nor sad...
only the deathless rippling of thoughts
blanketing an otherwise calm contrasting
undertow as when the pen oscillates
between trough and crest all throughout.
we waver till we get to pen a waiver
for the quest.
thanks for reading, guys.
fraCtal po8try with many inflections sounding around inside with many reflections bouncing off the mirrors of my minds eye -- oPus die, eh? -- in a thrift of words arch-ing overtones 'n invertendo'd, loaded with liberty 'n inuendo -- nicely done fracTaled one
thanks so much, Alc.
i must tell you, though, that this piece
and its sequel are primarily fueled by
the emotions evoked by the antithesis
of the togetherness in that picture.
there is a limit on how much food you can leave for the hamster
yeah, but you can keep on clicking
the mouse for all you want.
i once thought hamsters were mice, too.
chuckles is fasting now --
the hamster can eat five viddles but then must have a drink
well, he can subsequently eat more than that.
sorry about the sleepy birdie;
the snorring can get a bit annoying.
yeah i turned it off
mustve been female ;)
but snoring isn't like nagging
or is it?
the sailor looks like hes flatulent
Okay, this is a lot of fun, good. But no one can tell you anything constructive because it's all sound, huh. But pretty sound. Tease it, ease it
Aren't you so cute! Your stuff is so unique and so funny and hey, I had a nice run for two weeks at the top, so now I hand over the poetry torch to YOU! :-)
OMG! YOU WERE #1 Top Rated & #1 Recent Best and then poof! You went back down to #2 on both lists! Anyway, you're next up at the plate when the torch is passed, Frac. :-)
Et ignotas animum dimminit in artes...
he's trying to make it look like
he's trying to release the gas
through the 'scope butt, er but
his ass's actually connected to
the smokestack by a catheter.
nice name there. the sound scheme seems
the most prevalent move in this, eh? lemme
try it in the normal mode here:
eyelids softly turned
to the break of
opus sits, blankly (or: opposites, blankly)
up there, (or: up, dare,)
heavily (or: heavenly)
still (or: till)
opus dies soft-
of course you know-tease the pun on opus dei as
a phrase and individual words, right? dei is meant
to show facets of 'day' and 'gawd' here so now i'll
await your other comment on this and please be
harsh if you have to.
thanks for reading.
this is partially inspired by your "Pray I'll Age
Softly like the Other Good Men". i think i've been
having the urge to write something along that line
regarding that picture i linked and your piece turned
out to be a real big nudge for me to do it.
staying up the charts is a secondary pleasure we
derive from this PC business and our precious babies
also get to age softly, if not drastically fast, right there
in the list.
nothing to fuss about really; your post deserves to stay
longer up there.
thanks for reading this and for the inspiration.
please ignore the excessive 'thanks for'.
to the last unk:
can you pls tell me what that means?
sorry, my latin is not that good.
Awwww, Frac.... :-) I'm proud of you and I'm glad my poem served in some way to give u the "nudge" u were after. Yay!
Poetry Torch? whaT the fuck is this, the poem olympics??
this is not the olympics.
it is the jungle.
and four straight 1's here?
oh, that's really endearing...
thank you so much.
welcome to the one-agains fract -- a write of passage here at PC! ;) especially if you like poodles
just needed to wave hello to them
ones end fore all.
free-kin nee-one-dare-tolls, hehe.
it's a bumpee day...
the problem with deconstructive textualisational architecture, a bauhausian intersecting of perfect lines by perfect curves, is that it needs skill, and you have some, though the foundations of your constructs can be very weak, and this affects the rest of the structures you employ.
line six is an example of this.
amusing, interesting, with an obvious effort that the reader can see the pleasure you have when writing this type of language chop-shop work.
it is weak writing, however, and the style disguises that.
hi again, dear unk.
line 6 should read
opus sits, blankly (or: opposites, blankly).
does that elicit a change in opinion?
glad you enjoyed the architecture, nonetheless.
yes, i read it by deconstructing the deconstruction and reconstituting back into the language you jigsaw. though it might appear to be the dynamic in the overall architectural space, it doesn't appear to work for me, at least.
what makes that particular line the weakest
in your opinion? should i perhaps omit 'blank-lei'?
it is the "blank-lei" that destroys the rhythm there, and acts as an over affectation, a wall instead of glass, in the architecture.
ok, let me try excising that for the meantime
and wait till some other new idea pops up or
thanks for taking the time, unk.
reposted for further comments.
Love the mix of phoneticism, avant garde and internet touches.
Two for lunch but nothing alive, just the sulphur of your love... j.g. smiles
you got tons of comments. stop being greedy. unbump.
i guess you hit a touche with that one,
unk. i'm just moving stuff over from
another account and can't leave the
old comments behind.
i know your bumping this is not at all
bumpeetee day, everee-one.
Yeah I'm gonna echo this unknown,
"you got tons of comments. stop being greedy. unbump.
— unknown "
I mean I think a lot of your work is really good, but I'm less inclined to stop by if I see you doing stuff like this. It takes the limelight away from others. Sure we all do it occasionally, but ALL your poems in one day? Come on fract.
ey, don't you just miss chuck?
with a particular prodding of his in mind, this is a
couple of months too late and a couple of poems
too short, too.
crazy crazy chuck.
i'd do far crazier stuff than this in real life and it --
along with the corresponding consequence -- is a
little off the g-spot really.
but don't worry, araenel, this kind of joke will be the
only happenstance you'll see here. so, come on, just
laugh it off, ok?
[do you like Chuck and Spot?]
ooh, thanks for the boompfh, unk.
you got some weird fetish.
Nice. Played with my language
i think i miss this place,
and you, too.