poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Emily Dickinson #274: The Definitions
SodaKid

Original Poem by Emily Dickinson

274

One need not be a Chamber - to be Haunted -
One need not be a House -
The Brain has Corridors - surpassing
Material Place -

Far safer, of a Midnight Meeting
External Ghost
Than its interior Confronting -
That Cooler Host.

Far safer, through an Abbey gallop,
The Stones a'chase -
Than Unarmed, one's a'self encounter -
In lonesome Place -

Ourself behind ourself, concealed -
Should startle most -
Assassin hid in our Apartment
Be Horror's least.

The Body - borrows a Revolver -
He bolts the Door -
O'erlooking a superior spectre -
Or More -


An alcoholic drink.
 1
A thing wanted or required.
 2
An underground cavern.
 3
A brothel
 4
frequented by a ghost.
 5
An organ of soft nervous tissue.
 6
A long passage.
 7
A belt of land
 8
between doors.
 9
 
 
The matter from which a thing
 10
is a vacancy.
 11
The role played.
 12
A strong, fireproof cabinet
 13
with a complex lock
 14
standing in the corner.
 15
A condom
 16
in the middle of the night
 17
for worship.
 18
An apparition
 19
contained in the peripheral.
 20
Drawn inland.
 21
Face to face
 22
with a photograph.
 23
 
 
A refrigerated room.
 24
A living cell in which a virus multiplies
 25
so as to make a hole
 26
occupied by monks.
 27
A hard seed in a cherry.
 28
A member of the opposite sex,
 29
in an obvious way
 30
bred with one of the same,
 31
equipped with weapons.
 32
 
 
A casual adversary.
 33
A speaker invented.
 34
Machinery kept behind screens.
 35
A sovereign reflex
 36
dominated by a scent.
 37
A religious murderer.
 38
A close view of wildlife.
 39
A suite of arousal
 40
belonging to the monarch.
 41
A pessimistic child.
 42
A corpse
 43
apart from the head and limbs.
 44
An object of sexual desire
 45
used as one’s own language.
 46
A flash of lightning
 47
eaten or swallowed.
 48
 
 
A pistol with revolving chambers.
 49
An unspecified man.
 50
A hinged barrier.
 51
An evil eye
 52
written above the line.
 53
A fear of letters.
 54
An afterthought
 55
usually in the form of a question.
 56

9 Jul 09

Rated 9 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (2): 8, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(13 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

I would love to see this connected, something more than a laundry list of insanity requirements.  It's almost like the notes for a play.

Not a poem, yet.  You have a lot to work with, though!  
 — Isabelle5

These are all definitions, some altered, of words in my favorite Emily Dickinson poem, in the order in which they appear - #274.
I will not connect them for you.
This is a poem.  You don't have to get it, like it, value it, or think that it's good.
But that doesn't mean that it's not a poem.
I'd appreciate any constructive, text-based criticisms about the language, rhythm, title, or line breaks.
 — SodaKid

Well, to my mind, it's not a poem yet but if you want to call it one, by all means, this is the place to do it!  However, you might wish to look up the definition of list and see that it's closer to what this is than poem.

This is a workshop, don't lose sight of that fact.  If you are not hear for honesty from a reader, you have missed your exit.  
 — Isabelle5

You're right, this is a workshop. And in one people should have text-based reasons for why they think things.  Just blurting out your opinion is not constructive and doesn't help anyone write a better poem.  
Listen, I do value your opinion.  But you didn't support it.
I'm hear for constructive, thoughtful honesty.  Not just "this isn't a poem".  That is a useless comment.
And your definition of poetry is narrow-minded.
I'm not defending the poem.  If it sucks, that's fine.  But it's funny how I had only just put it up a minute or so before you commented on it.  A rather hasty read don't you think?  I don't care about anyone's sloppy, first-read opinion that obviously didn't take any serious literary analysis.  All you said was that you didn't like it.  That is a rudimentary assessment.  If you don't have constructive criticism, then don't just leave lazy feedback on my poems as an alternative.
 — SodaKid

Oh, it's list-like?  Well maybe that's because it is a list.  And it's obvious that I meant it to be a list becuase the whole thing is like that.  I wrote it like that as a deliberate artistic choice.  I think if you had taken a moment to actively read it, instead of just immediately writing it off, then you would have seen that I wrote it that way for a reason.  And if you'd like to question my artistic choices intelligently, I'd be happy to hear your argument.  Really.  Because that is what this sight is for.  But don't just state the obvious.
 — SodaKid

I mean "site"
 — SodaKid

I didn't say I didn't like it.  I said I'd like to see it connected in a more coherent way.  You don't have to take a long time to get a first impression of a poem.  I'm sorry you're offended but I was trying to encourage you to do more with this.
 — Isabelle5

Actually, I'm sorry.  I've had a bad day at work and I think I just took it out on you.
I don't even care if people do or don't like this.  I just don't think anyone has the authority to declare what is and what is not art.  That's what offended me.  I think it is unwise to criticize a piece of artwork based on a first impression.  

This poem is a deconstruction of literary analysis and of meaning.  We believe that the words in Dickinson's poems do connect, even if we don't know what they mean at first.  Scholars work hard to decipher them.  But when the definitions of each word are laid out, they seem nonsensical.  Why do we have faith in her words when put together, but not in their definitions?  When we interpret a poem like this, will we get the same result as when interpreting Dickinson’s actual poem?  No.  And that is the interesting thing about language.  I’m going to change the title so that it functions as a primer for what I’m doing.
 — SodaKid

From a visual perspective, this is fantastic-- the images flash at you like a slideshow, and each one is fresh and vibrant and real; "A belt of land between doors" especially strikes me as evocative-- an unremarkable passage between points. The doors are important landmarks, but the speaker seems to occupy the nothing in between.

"The matter from which a thing / is a vacancy" strikes my ear as clumsily worded; too much grammatical syntax maybe, deadening the impact. Unspecificity works when it's explicit ("an unspecified man"), but not quite as well when it's bunkered in prepositions.

Combined with the title-- which is kind of our signpost-- all of these images carry supicion. A hard seed in a cherry suddenly seems not-so-innocent. The apparition in the peripheral seems to suggest the core of this (to me, anyway); that there is something the speaker is sturggling with that is not quite on him. The strange or scary mingling with the mundane.

"A living cell in which a virus multiples" is quite wordy. Couples ways to look at it, I suppose; an intelligent speaker trying to reason with madness; or, just some words that could be trimmed. If your intention is the former, you might want to consider how to arrange the images in a way that this looks intentional, as opposed to accidental: maybe the surreal and tame don't mingle quite so much at the beginning, but as the poem progresses, the boundaries start to blur?

Suggestions only. This is original and cool; I'd love to see you revisit it and tighten the screws.
 — griffinxi

Thanx for taking the time to comment.  I will definitely work on it.
 — SodaKid

EDIT: I was unaware of the Dickinson tie-in. I shall have to check it out.
 — griffinxi

I went to find poem #274 and now I'm very confused!  Is this the ghost poem or something else?  
 — unknown

EDIT #2: I'm reading this along with #274. I'm not much of an authority on Emily Dickinson; I am intrigued by the concept you're presenting but I'm having difficulty making the connection between the two pieces. I like your intention to deconstruct, but I'm curious if the deconstruction itself is simply an exercise in study-- like taking apart a clock-- or is meant to create a new, coherent experience?
 — griffinxi

Okay.  Yes, this is the ghost poem with the chambers and everything.  
The specific dictionary that I use will be worded a little differently than others, so don't go looking for the definitions I've used in your own dictionary because they won't be there.
Again, these are not all exact definitions.  Some have been altered a little, some have been joined with others to create a more cohesive image or idea.
It is an exercise, and the process is the artwork not the finished product.
The new, coherent experience does not exist in the poem, but in the reaction of the reader to these images which are simultaneously connected and disconnected.
Griffinxi - I will still take some of your original suggestions seriously, because I do have control over how wordy each line is.  So they are still valuable even though you didn't know about the Em.D. angle.
If I had more room, I would put the real Dickinson poem right next to this one to reveal the process.
 — SodaKid

If this was how poetry was presented to me at first, I'd never be reading it but it's sort of like how Shakespeare is presented in Jr High, with the definitions with the archaic words and such, so you have a deeper appreciation of it once you've scanned the definition.  That's what this reminds me of but I think it would be good to post Emily's poem here, too, so that we have the comparison.

In answer to your question, I think we have a natural understanding of our language by the time we can read poems, so we tend to gloss over the definition the poet meant and use our cultural interpretation.  I'm interested to see how other poets here get their minds around this without seeing ED's piece, which is quite small.  
 — Isabelle5

I guess I could post it underneath this poem.  Stand-by.
 — SodaKid

I just don't know if posting another writer's work is allowed.  But I guess I'll find out.
 — SodaKid

Okay, her poem is my intro.
I have been trying to decode the last stanza for a long time.
I always think the bolting of the door is like shooting the revolver (a gun and a series of rooms) into her own brain.  Perhaps suicidal thoughts.
 — SodaKid

Cool-- this makes much more sense. When I looked for 274, I got an entirely different poem. Will dig into this in a bit
 — griffinxi

I see where from you've drawn your words now-- definitions will certainly vary dictionary to dictionary, and I see how you've tweaked here and there to make for interesting combinations.

As an exercise, love it; funny how when you break words down they become longer; the exercise is playful and creative. But I do not think this exercise, rigorously followed, is where you ought to leave this piece. If the deconstruction of her poem is a foray into the building blocks of language, what's the comment you're making? That language itself is a combination lock, or an elaborate cipher? Was Emily Dickinson's poem perhaps the rock that falls into the pond that ripples outward into this, and from this outward into something else, and on, and on? I enjoy the idea of how art (and language) creates a kind of echo effect from person to person, but if you don't intent to personalize it in some way, it seems to me it would drift out of the realm of poetry and into the realm of linguistics or crit theory (as you've stated).

As far as the commentary on "definitions," I think definitions are by nature somewhat subjective. Language is very liquid to me; it hides a lot. It's a small vessel through which a person attempts to relay a vast and streaming flow of information-- as Isabelle5 said, culture colors what we say and read. So do our own experiences. Do you think, maybe, your deconstruction is an answer to the futility of "decoding" a person's artwork?
 — griffinxi

Well, I don't think decoding is futile, just that both the process and the product of decoding are flawed and highly unstable because language is only a web of references that just feed back into one another.  They never lead to any ultimate meaning, but only refer back to other references.  When we decode art, we are really just decoding our own culture's value system, which means that literary analysis is, in a sense, reflexive.
I'm really glad that you thought about this piece so much Griffinxi.  I think you are right.  I was doing more of a thought excercise concerning linguistics and critical theory, which is what I am really interested in.  But I like to do it through art sometimes, rather than through commentary.
I think I might continue experimenting with this or other pieces like it and make it more personalized.  
Just exchanging ideas with everyone about this poem has been the best part about writing it.
Thanx guys.
 — SodaKid

original concept. my first impression is excellent.
I will return with play-by-play analysis.
a list within a poem is not a problem.

author had every right to be irked by a flabby, lazy pseudo critique.
 — unknown

wonderful title and tie-ins.
 — unknown

yeah, the "web of references" as you call it can be kind of maddening if you think about it.

I'll take your artistic take on lit crit over a "textbook" approach any day. If language is circular and self-referential, and art is composed of language, then-- oops, I think I just destroyed the universe.
 — griffinxi

You know something?  If you google Emily D poem #274, this is not the poem you get.  No wonder there was confusion.  It's a poem called, The only Ghost I ever saw, something like that.  

Despite Unknowns little stick at me, I believe my first impression, given the lack of information we had, was correct.  I do make judgements quickly but they are not lazy, I make sure I know what I want to say or ask, I just do it quickly.

I love how this has gone from a list of something not understandable to a complete illustration of how a reader gleans information (right or wrong) when they read.  I hope more readers will add their thoughts here.  This is a novelty here at this 'workshop.'  As someone who is also interested in lanugage and the nuances contained therein, I found this very fun, once I knew where you were going.  Thanks for the intellectual exercise!
 — Isabelle5

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