poetry critical

online poetry workshop



~Memories of ewe
unknown

dirty clothing
 1
cobwebs
 2
and crumpled papers
 3
soften and dull the corners
 4
so we can only hurt inside
 5
 
 
cracked paint
 6
peeling wallpaper
 7
and old movie posters
 8
support a ceiling
 9
tired and sagging
 10
and I think
 11
“me too”
 12
 
 
nail clippings
 13
guitar strings
 14
and expired grocery store coupons
 15
litter the floor where we once lay
 16
I kept it just the way you liked it
 17

you whore

12 Jul 09

Rated 10 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (1): 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

like it! bitter!
 — unknown

    Justs ta "Rolling and Tumbling"  Muddy Waters, she cried the whole night thru...
j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

This is amazing. I don't think L18 adds anything to the poem. L17 had me wondering and thinking about it and then 18 just gave away the ending.
 — frogilicus

Thanks Froggy, I added in |18 just to break the tension in a pseudo-humorous way. I'm thinking of ending it on |17 now... Maybe I'll just stick |18 in the footnote while I decide. Thanks for your critique you three!
 — unknown

ewe whore?

hmm...
dis ease gneiss, ewe poo-wet.
: )
 — fractalcore

Thanks FC: again, for a fav and a lovely *10*. Glad you liked it.
 — EpicPants

romantic
 — unknown

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