poetry critical

online poetry workshop

~Memories of ewe

dirty clothing
and crumpled papers
soften and dull the corners
so we can only hurt inside
cracked paint
peeling wallpaper
and old movie posters
support a ceiling
tired and sagging
and I think
“me too”
nail clippings
guitar strings
and expired grocery store coupons
litter the floor where we once lay
I kept it just the way you liked it

you whore

12 Jul 09

Rated 10 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (1): 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

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like it! bitter!
 — unknown

    Justs ta "Rolling and Tumbling"  Muddy Waters, she cried the whole night thru...
j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

This is amazing. I don't think L18 adds anything to the poem. L17 had me wondering and thinking about it and then 18 just gave away the ending.
 — frogilicus

Thanks Froggy, I added in |18 just to break the tension in a pseudo-humorous way. I'm thinking of ending it on |17 now... Maybe I'll just stick |18 in the footnote while I decide. Thanks for your critique you three!
 — unknown

ewe whore?

dis ease gneiss, ewe poo-wet.
: )
 — fractalcore

Thanks FC: again, for a fav and a lovely *10*. Glad you liked it.
 — EpicPants

 — unknown