Downloaded your wedding
bells, your crying, your underwater
gasp through telephone.
X, here, where we stood.
12 Jul 09
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here comes the bride -- or chappell's
'gone' -- on piano?
i'm inclined to think you're in the
wedding yourself but the X there,
though it can mean things other
than the spot upon which the bride
and groom stand before the wedding
officiator, is meant to refer to your
and the 'downloaded' in |1 reinforces
nice write notwithstanding my ignorance.
is probably* meant...
i should say.
so you just downloaded their wedding,
you being not physically there.?.
what's the 'your crying, your underwater
gasp through telephone.' all about?
The speaker is indeed on the outside looking in. I like that Facebook allows us back into the lives of our exes wearing a new face.
The inspiration for this was imagining how we digitize our lives nowadays; I was in a wedding a few summers ago that employed a videographer. The video was available as a download for a time. Peoples' photos are available online' nefarious parties can download them and, if they so chose, Photoshop them, take control over them. Much of our lives are archives ripe for manipulation. I imagined this phenomenon in a multimedia sense: what if you could get your hands on everything? Voice, video? What stage directions would you employ? What would you have your hated ex say? In this case, nothing but a gurgle. :) Nasty, perhaps.
As a side note, "X" serves many purposes here; my favorite being the spot where the piano drops.
The poem may require many revisions to get all this into the light, but that's the general idea.
I'm really into this. When you said "cue piano" I was only thinking about piano playing. I never thought of the idea that the piano was dropping. It's interesting to have both those meanings happening at the same time. The playing of the piano during a wedding ceremony, and a piano killing an ex. Also I like the double meaning of "X", a spot, which is a presence and an ex or an anti-relationship, which is an absence. The simulataneity of presence and absence is like all digital relationships. You see, hear, and/or write to the person, but you are never really with them. What constitutes a relationship?
I wouldn't change anything except Ln 3. It could use "the" between "though" and "telephone". It sounds weird without it. "gasp through the telephone"
Thanks for the comments, especially:
"The simulataneity of presence and absence is like all digital relationships."
Awesome observation-- I'm going to toy with this a bit when I get a second.