poetry critical

online poetry workshop


it barricades
the ramp --
i know what it is from
the carcass sprawled
in yesteryears...
vision's revived
out of the necessity
of fear so as to jolt
life back to motion:
whole-step to, half-step fro...
getting there not
too fast, not
too slow.

written july 9, 2009

now undergoing migration
from another account

: )

16 Jul 09

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

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— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

what the hell is this?
— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

I like the first two lines because they are a little more concrete than the rest, but the whole thing is very vague.  This needs concrete images and more descriptive language.  Not sure what is happening.  
— SodaKid         &nbs p;[!]

thanks for reading guys
it's a mental state
that's all
— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

; )
— fractalcore           [!]

— unknown         &nbs p;[!]

; )
 — fractalcore

So what you're saying is you've been posting under another account and then commenting on your own pieces with your current username? Does this help you circumvent the posting limit?
 — unknown

what i'm saying is i felt the urge to write and i was
somehow able to. sorry, i couldn't help it and it seems
as though writing is a crime.

don't worry, i'm contemplating writer's block for a hundred
years; i'll write to you as soon as i'm done with it.

thanks for stopping
; )
 — fractalcore


seems as though writing were* a crime

early sign of writer's block write dare, hehe.

; )
 — fractalcore

bumpeetee day, everee-one.
; )
 — fractalcore


this works for me

builds nicely.

the beginning i would work on a bit . . . less refined than the end . . bit sloppy

several interpretations given title

seeing some cool stuff in 10-13

good one!

 — unknown

thanks, F.

i think it started off just right, considering
whatever 'it' is that barricades the ramp, but
i know what you mean by less refined. the
title originally was 'middle' but the speaker in
this piece is like a bull caught in the middle, so
i thought i'd flip the second 'b' there for that

glad this works for you on the whole
and thanks for stopping

: )
 — fractalcore