poetry critical

online poetry workshop



The Twain Brothers
Redlander

The Twain Brothers
 1
 
 
           Mark            &                 Choochoo        ))
 2
                                                                   __((__
 3
M       M      a      rrrrr   k    k    _______         \     /
 4
M mm M    a   a   r    r   k  k      |  |   |   |_____|    |__
 5
M  m   M  aaaaa  rrrrr    k k       |  |_|    \                  |
 6
M       M   a     a  r   r     k   k    |______|___________\\
 7
M       M   a     a  r    r    k    k   (@) (@)     (@)      (@)|\\\
 8
 
 
                             Twain
 9
                    And never shall they meet.
 10

3 Aug 09

Rated 10 (8.2) by 3 users.
Active (3): 5
Inactive (17): 1, 1, 1, 6, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(38 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

unbelievable, you have a computer mind...Redlander
 — goeszon

Great fun. A very cute inventive mix.
 — unknown

This is so ridiculous, but I still can't help laughing, so, well done. :)
 — Ananke

Guys! Thank you unknown, Goeszon, and Ananke you're all very kind.
 — Redlander

Sensational!!  Chuga chugga!  
 — Isabelle5

i gotta echo ananke. vewwy cwever. cwacked me up.

not wated...
 — noodleman

Thanks Isabelle & noodleman I'm very appreciative
 — Redlander

just the time and mistake factor makes this one of the best i have ever scene on p/c very orignal for a train with the brothers... this piece was truly to much...
 — ambiguos

love it
 — SkaaDee

Maybe when poets post poem art, it should have a clue in the title and be rated more as art and not a poem.  I find these very cool and interesting but they aren't really poems.  
 — Isabelle5

WOW cool world art, it the same person who did the pipe?
 — Liliana

very original and funny!
 — frugal

Just noticed there is a family of art works, very refreshing, meet the steins, dogs and cats, the powerful pull of the choochoo, looks like a cup from starbucks though... very good all the three
j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

I like your art poetry.  Not pure poetry but very artistic indeed.  Cool.
 — Treadwell

I like shape art this is cool. A 10 in my opinion
 — BxPR

creative=)
 — unknown

Now this is a great concrete poem.  And funny too.  teehee :)
 — JKWeb

!10
 — ghost

I give you the fine art award of merit. Is this a vector image now?
 — ghost

This is so cute. =)
 — unknown

i agree with Isabelle5. its more art then poetry.
but i still find it absolutely cute. (:
 — firerocket

Thanks firerocket for the nice comment!
 — Redlander

ooohhh my,  i could not stop laughting. your crazzy, and this is cute.:)
 — unknown

It is amazingly cute; a sort of redux of a truly old sort of poetry where the formatting would make a flower or bird.  Here we have what seems like a train, but the driver and the cargo: they lack (it so-says), any coupling device!  "Twain" = two.  The loco needs to go with its tender, or run out of steam fast!  It's so compact and environmentally-conscious.  IF no human is an island (old saw), then here, we learn, too that no human is useful if it only pulls away from it =fool supply= (sort of a bad pun!)  Delightful in every way, this item.
 — R_Reid_Welch

Thanks R_Reid_Welch! Long time no hear! What have you benn up to?
 — Redlander

I guess some found it rather clever/cute.  It is more gimmicky than anything else.

I am fond of both, yet not fond of this.
 — OldShoe

haha, awesome :)
 — naynay2012

wow.

; )
 — fractalcore

Thank you both  naynay2012 and fractalcore
 — Redlander

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 — unknown

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