poetry critical

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to 'B' ore naught too 'V'
fractalcore

the birds form seven,
 1
             from wile-less years come;
 2
fools looking over
 3
             seæs...blue-covered ones
 4
[t]HE[y] thought beads were bids --
 5
             metaphoric skies
 6
a bisque too many
 7
             hair naïvely shed
 8
for recess...is down
 9
             there in the hollows
 10
of the shallows -- that --
 11
             are pearls [t]HE[y] shan't pass...
 12




written july 29, 2009
aka: to Burn ore | naught too Victorious

http://poetrycritical.net/read/56546/

thanks for the inspiration, noodleman sir.
hope you don't mind my burrowing your
nice-sounding wurdz.


     ____
    __/__
      /\
    /   \
fractalcore
      ; )

6 Aug 09

Rated 9.5 (7.4) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (7): 1, 1, 3, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

high
hey mon
whored
– noodleman

knee-dip
ankle-high

crossed
egged leg

my nascar
'nam as tea
nah, mass-kart

seam
eye
boo
duh's
mile?

: )
– fractalcore
 — fractalcore

sounds like somebody's ægin'..
 — Salamander

well, i was [twenty-]seven
once a couple of years ago.

thanks for stopping
bye, Salamander.

: )
 — fractalcore

in this game 'shogun' there's this wise old man in the thrown room. when you click on him he says wise things. they always work because he's always talking about his poodle and how to care for him. to us it sounds like sun tsu. that's pretty funny.
 — trashpoodle

have i eva told you how much i love this?
 — unknown

ignore poodle.
best way.
 — unknown

I like it-
all 12 lines...
it reads nicely
and is visually pleasing
kudos
 — JKWeb

I like it a lot
 — unknown

a star.
 — Liliana

zounds zenational
 — AlchemiA

ey, trash 'MB' poodle.

i got to see and have that 'shogun'
game you're talking about. i think
there's some WWIII in the making
somewhere and the poor poodles
will again undergo some statistic
drop.

the things people wanna do in the
name of war, huh?

it's not just misunderstanding that
fuels it; there's some distinct brand
of ill-informed arrogance behind...

they thought beads were bids;
metaphoric skies -- that --
are pearls they hopefully shan't pass...

i don't understand so many things and
that makes it all irritatingly interesting
and worthwhile.

thanks for being around.
; )
 — fractalcore

dear 1st unk,

have i told you lately that i
haven't much liking for many
of my posts?

this unfortunately isn't one of
them and i like your liking it
very much.

thank you.
: )
 — fractalcore

dear 2nd unk,

i just couldn't help taking
notice of your well-crafted
comment/memorandum.

i should be busy ignoring
me-self now but...

thank you for stopping
bye.

: )
 — fractalcore

JKWeb dear sir,

i like all the 4 lines of your
valuable comment. wish i had
more time to read every good
post here and return everybody
the nice gesture.

i'm sure you're doing well with
the help of these great poets
around.

thank you for giving this a shot.
: )
 — fractalcore

dear 3rd unk,

thank you so much for the
liking it. i like it a lot, too.
may i know which particular
parts got your attention?

: )
 — fractalcore

my dear Liliana,

hope the star will never consume all
its energy and suck all things around
it.

here's a term i like to think as singular:

THANKS!

: )
 — fractalcore

AlchemiA,

let's just say this is my very own rendition
of what someone very Zen like you would
write.

your time spent here now and poetry are
a gem to share.

thanks endlessly.
: )
 — fractalcore

I missed this one. But it's a winner. Here's a 10 & a bump
 — Redlander

i miss having a 1 but thank you
so much for the 10 and bump
on this bumpeetee day,
Redlander.

; )
 — fractalcore

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 — hehandbags

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 — nanimu

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