poetry critical

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A prayer for Fergus I
uncjaf

Cut
 1

3 Sep 09

Rated 10 (9.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (2): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(19 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

let me know what you think
 — uncjaf

forgive my ignorance of to whom this poem was written,
but i find the words to be rich, scented with fig and bile,
full of seasonal death.

whatever that may mean.

'an' L12
 — jenakajoffer

nice writing. i think unknown law sounding like lawn was a great touch, further implemented by the nice coined phrase soul-soil.

this has quite a bit going on in it. the only thing i didn't quite like was "a old-binding" ... typo, maybe?

regardless, great poem. i like how you intertwine these metaphors and such. works great.
 — listen

indeed a typo, as Jen noticed. but, easily fixable.
 — listen

thank you both
 — uncjaf

this is really good..i like..
 — brother_sun

i think the only thing i have left to suggest is that you repeat the title ... and was wondering if you would delete that. the poem doesn't need it, or so that's what the poem seems to say.
 — listen

thanks again listen, that was unintentional.
 — uncjaf

thanks everyone
 — uncjaf

I'm liking the evolution of this work. You've clearly got a good touch in both writing and editing.
 — DianaTrees

i like this too. :D good one
 — psychofemale

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