poetry critical

online poetry workshop



BF
justagirlx3

I remember then
 1
How your tye-dyed eyes were crossed
 2
so you could kiss me
 3
properly
 4
 
 
and how your
 5
sugar spun skin
 6
tasted
 7
if I concentrate
 8
I'll remember
 9
 
 
I'll remember how
 10
you used to hold me
 11
with fingers all trimmed in lace
 12
soft and quiet
 13
when I needed you
 14
that way
 15
 
 
but other times
 16
when I felt loud and messy
 17
you spread my wildness
 18
like sweet jam on toast
 19
and you laughed as we
 20
finger painted with mud
 21
 
 
tripping and sliding
 22
and ridiculously filthy
 23
our grins were still creamy white
 24
and they rhymed together
 25

14 Sep 09

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Comments:

Oh, this is so nice! It made me cry because of the ending words and I still feel like smiling too. This must be poetry!! I'm so taken.
 — 2queer2fear

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