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Black Mood Swings the Pendulum
JKWeb

Do you remember
 1
when we were dead?
 2
you'd stare at me with absent eyes-
 3
I laughed at your grey complexion
 4
and you claimed in subtle ways
 5
that you were goth
 6
 
 
Remember?
 7
we used to sip tea
 8
from broken cups and reminisce-
 9
we'd sit near that abandoned cabin
 10
for hours on end
 11
then roll around along the ground
 12
trying to free ourselves of sin
 13
 
 
Do you remember
 14
when you took my hand
 15
and my arm fell off?
 16
you laughed so hard
 17
that your teeth sprayed asunder
 18
 
 
Do you remember
 19
when we were both so tired?
 20
you allowed me
 21
to walk you to your grave
 22
decorated with flowers
 23
 
 
then a black mood overwhelmed me
 24
I felt the true clang of death in my head
 25
 
 
Above muted laughter,
 26
the fingers of time
 27
sprinkled bone dust upon us
 28
and we finally realized
 29
that we are mere ashes
 30
in a vast sea of dirt
 31

7 Oct 09

Rated 10 (7.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (13): 1, 1, 1, 3, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

Repost?  I remember laughing the first time I read this, laughing again this time.  
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle-
thanks for reading...
it is a re-post and re-titled--
I changed a few things and added lines 24-32..
thanks again
 — JKWeb

hmm, you set the right tone for this.
alanis will be the next dalai lama

and you should start
'stalking the wild pendulum'.

no, really, just keep it swinging nicely.
; )
 — fractalcore

hey fractalcore
thanks for reading and the fave...
but who is alanis?
Alanis Morissette?
she is quite earthy if I'm not mistaken--
anyway, mucho grats
 — JKWeb

Oh you are up to your ways sir JKWeb... gnarly to the bone, i really enjoyed lines 26 thru 31... the
whole piece was excellent in a funny way... it wasn't made in hell... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

Halloween is definitely near, Night of the Living Dead meets Thriller poetically
 — Redlander

thank you goesZEN-
glad you found it knarly..
I was trying for a comedy/tragedy thing--
appreciate you reading....
 — JKWeb

hey Redlander-
indeed Rocktober 31 is near..
thanks for reading and comment
 — JKWeb

interesting and a joy to read.

i would change 'bone dust' in line 28 to 'the dust of bones'.

and also 'black' in line 24 to 'dark'.

but it is your poem, so do what you wish.
 — raskolniikov

sorry, i see how it ties in with the title. black and dark that is.
 — raskolniikov

harharhar.. JKWEb, I love this!! this is funny.
 — majan

enjoyed this one, nice write
 — syrossoul

thanks rask-
for reading and comment...
I actually had 'the dust of bones' originally in line 28
but was attempting to trim a bit...will have to ponder some more
 — JKWeb

   Majan-
thanks for reading
glad you enjoyed...
 — JKWeb

syrosSOUL-
thank you very much...
 — JKWeb

Of CORPSE it would be YOU writing something like this!  Love it!  :-)
 — starr

starr-
thanks for the read and fave..
I had to laugh when I read,
"of CORPSE it would be YOU...
I do tend to lean towards the macabre POEtry stylings--
thankx again...
 — JKWeb

LOL!  Of CORPSE you do, buddy!  I think you do a good job with the macabre.  L15 kills (no pun intended) me!  It's so funny and unexpecta-ma-cated!  Ever seen (I'm sure you HAVE) the movie, "Death Becomes Her" with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn?  :-)
 — starr

Amazingly starr-
no, I have not yet seen "Death becomes Her"
but I googled
and I'll definately check it out---
Robert Zemeckis (director) is great as is Bruce Willis
and I love Goldie Hawn...
anyway, thanks for re-visiting
 — JKWeb

But, of CORPSE!  Okay...I'm done with "corpse" jokes now.  Had 2 get that last one outta my system.  Good movie!  It's funny and the topic revolves around aging and staying beautiful as we get older or somethin' like that.  Peace, JK!  :-)
 — starr

This was a perfect read for me tonight - thanks JK for the smile.
 — Cocoa

Cocoa-
thank you very much--
glad you enjoyed it...
 — JKWeb

noir is the deep which calls to deep, infinite-in is the souls keep -- nicely writ JKWeb, every bit of it ...
 — AlchemiA

AlchemiA-
thanks for reading and thoughts--
+ the fave...
I appreciate it
 — JKWeb

What beautiful irony this piece uses. The laughter and ability to initially forget death. "Remember" is the repeated catch here: the reader knows something is wrong "lines 1 &2--Do you remember when we were dead"as if, rather than staying that way, narrator and loved on would come to life. How potent then, that as he returns her to a beautiful grave laden with flowers...death comes to reality. The truth of a "vast sea of dirt" must make us all shudder. Amazing piece and very imaginative.  
 — slthomwriter

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