|Black Mood Swings the Pendulum
Do you remember
when we were dead?
you'd stare at me with absent eyes-
I laughed at your grey complexion
and you claimed in subtle ways
that you were goth
we used to sip tea
from broken cups and reminisce-
we'd sit near that abandoned cabin
for hours on end
then roll around along the ground
trying to free ourselves of sin
Do you remember
when you took my hand
and my arm fell off?
you laughed so hard
that your teeth sprayed asunder
Do you remember
when we were both so tired?
you allowed me
to walk you to your grave
decorated with flowers
then a black mood overwhelmed me
I felt the true clang of death in my head
Above muted laughter,
the fingers of time
sprinkled bone dust upon us
and we finally realized
that we are mere ashes
in a vast sea of dirt
7 Oct 09
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Repost? I remember laughing the first time I read this, laughing again this time.
thanks for reading...
it is a re-post and re-titled--
I changed a few things and added lines 24-32..
hmm, you set the right tone for this.
alanis will be the next dalai lama
and you should start
'stalking the wild pendulum'.
no, really, just keep it swinging nicely.
thanks for reading and the fave...
but who is alanis?
she is quite earthy if I'm not mistaken--
anyway, mucho grats
Oh you are up to your ways sir JKWeb... gnarly to the bone, i really enjoyed lines 26 thru 31... the
whole piece was excellent in a funny way... it wasn't made in hell... j.g. smiles
Halloween is definitely near, Night of the Living Dead meets Thriller poetically
thank you goesZEN-
glad you found it knarly..
I was trying for a comedy/tragedy thing--
appreciate you reading....
indeed Rocktober 31 is near..
thanks for reading and comment
interesting and a joy to read.
i would change 'bone dust' in line 28 to 'the dust of bones'.
and also 'black' in line 24 to 'dark'.
but it is your poem, so do what you wish.
sorry, i see how it ties in with the title. black and dark that is.
harharhar.. JKWEb, I love this!! this is funny.
enjoyed this one, nice write
for reading and comment...
I actually had 'the dust of bones' originally in line 28
but was attempting to trim a bit...will have to ponder some more
thanks for reading
glad you enjoyed...
thank you very much...
Of CORPSE it would be YOU writing something like this! Love it! :-)
thanks for the read and fave..
I had to laugh when I read,
"of CORPSE it would be YOU...
I do tend to lean towards the macabre POEtry stylings--
LOL! Of CORPSE you do, buddy! I think you do a good job with the macabre. L15 kills (no pun intended) me! It's so funny and unexpecta-ma-cated! Ever seen (I'm sure you HAVE) the movie, "Death Becomes Her" with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn? :-)
no, I have not yet seen "Death becomes Her"
but I googled
and I'll definately check it out---
Robert Zemeckis (director) is great as is Bruce Willis
and I love Goldie Hawn...
anyway, thanks for re-visiting
But, of CORPSE! Okay...I'm done with "corpse" jokes now. Had 2 get that last one outta my system. Good movie! It's funny and the topic revolves around aging and staying beautiful as we get older or somethin' like that. Peace, JK! :-)
This was a perfect read for me tonight - thanks JK for the smile.
thank you very much--
glad you enjoyed it...
noir is the deep which calls to deep, infinite-in is the souls keep -- nicely writ JKWeb, every bit of it ...
thanks for reading and thoughts--
+ the fave...
I appreciate it
What beautiful irony this piece uses. The laughter and ability to initially forget death. "Remember" is the repeated catch here: the reader knows something is wrong "lines 1 &2--Do you remember when we were dead"as if, rather than staying that way, narrator and loved on would come to life. How potent then, that as he returns her to a beautiful grave laden with flowers...death comes to reality. The truth of a "vast sea of dirt" must make us all shudder. Amazing piece and very imaginative.