poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Yesterday Forlorn

All these poems
left yesterday like obituaries.
I have not forgotten you,
your electrons
lay preserved.
Surviving you like
Egyptian tombs.
Here we lie living,
the rummage of life,
left kicking heels
in the gutter.

18 Oct 09

Rated 8 (5.7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 1, 8

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It feels like I walked into a trap filled with Junk Mail.
 — unknown

Hm, interesting... syntax/grammar is a little awkward, wrecks the flow a bit for the reader, but some very strong images.
 — andyleggett

not impressed!
 — unknown

yay rocket, you're back.  it's like you never really left.  you know.  
the voice.
 — jenakajoffer

drat, i forgot to mention the poem-- it's pretty good.  though i'm wondering why the things i click on tonight are all alike in some way.  weird.
 — jenakajoffer

Speaking of not impressed, I see that PC is still chock full of trolls with nothing better to do then leave pointless negative comments. To set the bar lower you'd have to start digging.

Jenaka, nice to hear from you, hope you are doing well.

Andy, thanks for the feedback.
 — rocket