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she'll | lest i: mean?
fractalcore

in the morning
 1
when it snows
 2
            sunbeams
 3
in the desert
 4
            of your
 5
            dreams
 6
 
 
you act like
 7
            an arab
 8
ready to kill
 9
            the sheep
 10
 
 
did i just feel
 11
            the ground
 12
shake a little
 13
or i just imagined
 14
            stuff again
 15
 
 
do you feel snakes
 16
            then
 17
do you eat them
 18
 
 
arabs should
 19
            learn
 20
how to kill
 21
            crabs
 22
 
 
not the other
 23
            way around
 24
 
 
 
 
             what?
 25
scabs kill       crabs?
 26
 
 
 
 
wake  me  up  f a s t
 27




written 10/18/09


aka 'celestamine: im allergic to roaches --
their bits, er bites, to be exact'
formerly found in this now-defunct link:
http://poetrycritical.net/read/58857/


no arabs nor snakes nor crabs nor scabs nor roaches
were killed in this dreamlike process.

neither was any anti-histamine taken in any manner.

but, did you see where the sheep was going?



      ____
     __/__
       /\
     /   \
fractalcore
     : )

23 Oct 09

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 7, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

I would change line 14 to - 'or did I just imagine stuff again?'  The way it's written right now seems not quite right.

I got lost at the end, perhaps I don't speak a certain lingo that this needs to be understood.  I really enjoyed the beginning.  Is the end part of the poem or is it a foot-note?  It's pretty funny.
 — Isabelle5

allergies can be hell ... my eldest Son has 'em but fends for himself -- your allergies to roaches is no joke'es -- falling asleep into the numinous out-of-body tumble -- the jerk of freedom I call it -- sometimes I get an electric shock which blasts right through me leaving the artifacts of waves on my eye-lids -- I follow the sheep of sleep to dream-time
 — AlchemiA

I want to be out of body, too.  Rats!
 — Isabelle5

I used to wake up at 4 a.m. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber...   j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

hi, Isabelle5.

thanks so much for stopping by. well, i guess this
piece is not meant to sound right or logical at all.
it just has a way of saying things or a manner of
speaking which alludes to some indescribable state
that i myself want to make sense of -- the 'sheep' in
this case still eludes me, so to speak, as does the
title as/if i pay more attention to it.

that 'she'll' happenstance there creates quite the
central issue -- for me at the very least -- rather
than the rest of the title -- which is of no, if not
logical, consequence to the open implication of
'she will...'. were i free to provide my desired
verb [phrase] or predicate there, i wouldn't have
needed to spew out this 27-line mumbo jumbo.

thinking further and farther back, it was also partly
brought about by a discussion on [anti-]allergies i
had with some friend. plus, i had already been in
some mood that was similar to what the lines in this
piece evoke -- it was illogical, baffling, strange and
funny at the same time.

so you're not alone in this, really -- i still am trying
to make sense of it but i'm getting closer and closer
to the truth, thank gawd.

i guess this will have to be my response to all the
other very kind poets who gave this their very
precious time.

so, thank you, too, AlchemiA and goeszon dear sirs,
for stopping bye.
: )
 — fractalcore

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