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Fake Set, Fake City
cubbzor

Walking through the slums
 1
in the city of modesty.
 2
The skyscrapers' just a set,
 3
masking poverty.
 4
It's all cardboard held up by string,
 5
as the poor actors move on,
 6
and all the paper birds sing.
 7
 
 
Chalk lines separate
 8
the sides of the street.
 9
The set may be fake
 10
but I have real splinters under my feet.
 11
Hot compression,
 12
a flakey impression.
 13
What does my pain mean?
 14
A slow regression?
 15
The wound,
 16
still fresh and
 17
still raw and
 18
still real?
 19
Let's test the waters,
 20
take a lemon and press the peel.
 21
 
 
If it hurts,
 22
I'll squeal
 23
like a pig becoming pork.
 24
Like the honking of a horn.
 25
Or like the daily pains of the homeless
 26
in the fake set,
 27
of the fake cities of
 28
Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta
 29
or New York.
 30

2 Nov 09

Rated 9 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (2): 8, 9

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Comments:

I like your poem-
though I think you could probably do without
line 8--I think it hurts your otherwise cool poem...
also, I would change 'piggy' to 'pig' in line 23
otherwise, nicely done
 — JKWeb

You know this is different and I am all over different like a fat boy on pork rinds.
love
the
hidden
message
about
glitz city! cool
 — unknown

I deleted line 8, and replaced it with the new L8-9. Piggy changed to pig. I think this reads better.
 — cubbzor

also changed the first line, replaced "streets" with "slums"
 — cubbzor

good poetry !
 — sanjaybhusal

cub-
it does look and read better...
but should 'city' in line 28 be 'cities' ?
jus' wonderin'
 — JKWeb

Thanks for catching that, it was meant to be cities.
 — cubbzor

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