poetry critical

online poetry workshop



BREAD AND JAM
matrinh20

I don't mind being here,
 1
But it's a lonely old spot.
 2
Out of Chadwell road
 3
Listening to heartbeats
 4
Drumming against the walls,
 5
And you....the comedian and philosopher.
 6
With your stupid jokes
 7
And your stupid face
 8
And your stupid haircut.
 9
You're as bad as me now,
 10
You're neither arseholes or watercress.
 11

5 Nov 09

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
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(define the words in this poem)
(38 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

rubbish
 — unknown

father tells me that if i am playing too many games for playstations and xboxs then i eat bread and jam for supper. I HATE FATHER when he makes this.
 — leaf

HAHAHA OH, I lOve your arseholes or watercress line, can you somehow work in marks and spensers? Yes, you are only 15? well- actually it shows but no worries
boy- you will grow into your words and thoughts, and other things :) nice i liked.
 — unknown

suffer the little Selfridges

?

uncensored spew. sorry
 — unknown

Whaddayermean !!!  uncensored spew Mr unknown. Spew is a word that is more needed to be censored than arseholes, if that is the offensive word in this (ring) piece that you allude to. It is a poor old day when such everyday words are censored. at least arseholes can have comical associations, unlike spew, wich is just offensive. every body has an arsehole, even you, although I think yours may be connected directly to your brain.
 — matrinh20

'bread and jam for francis' was one of my favourite stories growing up.  that is why i clicked on your poem.  though the title is not reflecting the poem's arseholes and watercress.  got some cool sounding wordlings, but i don't get it.
'and' in L4 should go.  that's a start.  

leaf, i LOVED your comment.  i wish this comment were in the poem.
that would be great. =-)
 — jenakajoffer

Unlike the other poem I've submitted to this site 'all before your eyes' this piece may be considered as 'abstract' where as the readers own interpretation provides the images to construct its meaning. wether this takes the form of dialogue or reflective thought, and the scene or situation is up to the reader to chose.
'Neither arseholes or watercress' means in this context, neither one thing or another.
 — matrinh20

The and in L4 is gone
 — matrinh20

He can have her, I can treat My Lady Lili right %%%
 — unknown

Hmmmm
 — psychofemale

It's been a couple years, I read this again so differently.

Nice.
 — jenakajoffer

jianbin1220
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 — unknown

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