poetry critical

online poetry workshop

15 cents

i use to eat
very poorly
i discovered
rice, Garlic
and peas...

5 Dec 09

Rated 10 (8.8) by 1 users.
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Inactive (5): 1, 8, 8, 9, 10

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Do people not believe you when you throw this on the table and tell that  it is a poem? Is that the reason for the title? I happen to like this poem very much. It reminds me of the poetry of Richard Brautigan; simple, sincere, and has a childlike innocence. I can also relate to this because I'm quite poor and can't afford good food. But at the local food liquidation center I found these precooked bags of rice for 15 cents. It was the happiest day of my life.
 — NadCloutier

yes, it's a poem.

it'd be fun to see you do variations on this -- like, do 15 variations on the wording and topic and see what you found.

i you'z to eat poorly
mice, cheez and barley,
then i discovered

gize, rarlic and bees.
 — bmikebauer

i confur- this is pretty neat. variations is definitely a good idea.

the title isn't really appropriate. it's almost too brazen for the simplicity of the poem itself.
 — a2b489

* "variations are"
 — a2b489

naw, you had it -- it would be short for 'a set of variations', a single thing...
 — bmikebauer

right on, bauer.
 — a2b489

hey,fuck you you fucks
this is my found poem
you fuck fuckkkskkssk
 — sir_I_clan

: D
 — unknown

oh gingie. =-)
 — jenakajoffer

we share our diets^_^ most certainly a poem, and one worth reading.
 — Rss233

hell, yeah.

: )
 — fractalcore

i changed the title tonight, it read yes,it's a poem, i really hated it, so it's called fact.
 — unknown

.. lol, cute.. 10

-- Leaf Rainbow
 — unknown

i liked 'poo' better.

you know, this almost sounds like
green peæs [G's piece] in many

fRact here, btw.

; )
 — fractalcore

hey,how do you do that with your letters?
green peas
 — unknown

i just made good use of the internet once
[google, hehe] when i needed some special
character for this:

http://poetrycritic al.net/read/46113/
[i sorta remember reading 'my bob marley
book report' when i wrote it; know that piece?]

you can actually copy-paste that special
character from my comment if you wanna
use it.

: )
 — fractalcore