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moon girl
Mudd

there's this girl
 1
she's in my class
 2
i stare at her for the first hour
 3
then only snatch glimpses of her the second
 4
i don't want her to see me stare
 5
 
 
she's the kind of girl that
 6
catches your attention, mesmerizes
 7
by her appearance, her walk, her bearing
 8
 
 
it's a shallow infatuation
 9
like watching the reflection of the moon
 10
in a puddle
 11

17 Dec 09

Rated 10 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (4): 4, 8, 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(21 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Very nice in its simplicity...
 — aforbing

Very nice analogy that brings forth good imagery. We are all drawn to people or objects of infatuation and wonder and it's a great feeling, but like the reflection of the moon in the water, something we can never possess..
 — JohnW

Good.
 — unknown

i think you should take a photograph of the image that mesmerizes you, and that moment when you 'click' put what you see into words then into this poem.

they're a little wordy but the last three lines could be a very elegant wrapper on what is presently a common introduction.
 — unknown

The last three lines are wonderful. You don't want the description of the girl to be too specific since the narrator only has a puddle worth of depth, but you could use more interesting description in the second stanza especially.
 — unknown

Lines 10-11 great simile!!
 — mandolyn

one day in band camp...
 — unknown

lines 10 and 11 exquisite
 — Rossant

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