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jeez-us 'holy macaroni shit' cripes AKA 'babay: porkining glitch'
fractalcore

end, the okra lies... deep-fried
 1
in olive oil... as popeye the seller
 2
pops another pill, for standing still
 3
is no joker's eye bulging with
 4
insurmountable bliss
 5
 
 
until...
 6
 
 
ripples ellipse their way oughta hear,
 7
ellipses ripple their way intuit,
 8
revealing waves traced upon
 9
the wait of a singular kiss --
 10
 
 
class dismissed, school's over
 11
for fishes that bare and where
 12
the irony and paradox of how
 13
liquid life flows with thirst:
 14
 
 
the conflict of the ones who try
 15
to get there first, to the deepest
 16
ocean floor, to settle the score
 17
write@thee.cor --
 18
 
 
eats know raise, no race atoll
 19
butt own-lei fur doze dreamy
 20
of the food-chain higher-ark-key...
 21
 
 
the meek don, kneel, doo nutsy
 22
stuff sun-times fur duh heck off eat.
 23




written 12/17/2009
http://poetrycritical.net/read/60159/


thank you so much, AlchemiA dear sir.

also thanks to:
jharrison
DeformedLion
eyesaque
bmikebauer
unknown
et al.


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fractalcore
     ; )

18 Dec 09

Rated 10 (8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10, 10, 10
Inactive (9): 1, 1, 1, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Hah ... Sweet -- jHarrison of Mong is really helping us along with the song -- like a deep-see Volcanoe witnessing what happens when Tech_Tonic plates smash into eah other ... Sweet
– AlchemiA

that's a lot of people to help shine it, and it is polished and maybe just a little over wrought, but readable.
– unknown

yes, Alc, evidently nothing in the universe is utterly useless.
eye throw glimpses at ewe peep-hole with dis singular kiss
on different levels fur duh write a-loan -- end eye all-wuss
Om ah-lone when eat boils dawn write two eat.

...namaskar...

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fractalcore
     : )
– fractalcore

well, unky, i couldn't help it.

they are folks too interesting to ignore.
yeah, sometimes you feel the weight of
the whole encounter just like when you're
faced with the need to write/read a poem
for the first time -- eats all-wuss duh first
tie-em fur me in a-weigh.

thanks for dropping
bye.

; )
– fractalcore

you should trust in your own ability. is all i'm saying. be less impatient by the looks of it.
– unknown

'-- end eye all-wuss Om ah-lone when eat boils dawn write two eat.'
actually means i got only my abilities to rely on when i write.

thanks for the reminder/advice/confidence, though.
; )
– fractalcore

i really appreciate raw words wraught by word makers with natural skill, and critical sites have a habit of stifling it. they have their benefits too of course. but self awareness which isn't crippling - the other extreme - is good; being yourself and shaping it like you would a day dream is fairy dust.
– unknown

that's right, unk.

but, i hope you're not referring to PC as one of those sites
you're talking about -- this is after all the only critical poetry
site in the entire cyber-universe -- there are [supposedly] no
free meals here [oh, i forgot to thank mcdonald's for |22!],
per se, but it's a democratic[?] place as wHell, so anything
cums and goes, really, as you already know.

the mind is the only weapon we have and the only ticket
that allows us a free peek at this whole miss-teary eyed
lady.

: )
– fractalcore

yes i include poetry critical not with a tar brush but with a degree of realism.  i post here. i recognize my environs.
– unknown

gooed two know dot den.
stay & write & post for gooed.

but, don't forget to show us where
your bay-bees are so we won't
fur-get how real life is.

; )
– fractalcore
 — fractalcore

did u get all those son-of-a-gun-ones too ---
 — AlchemiA

my aching boiler got four, unlike Mike who gets much more, like six or seven in a row, a drive-bye shooting doncha'know
 — AlchemiA

s'ok, Alc.

i can see them coming and they're
welcome in my world.

; )
 — fractalcore

some people are born middle aged, and they know the dances and what you're supposed to wear. and, in the jungle of public american schools and private american schools they clump into groups and admire each other and blow each other when they need to, and the do the right things and get the girls to sub for the boys and live happily ever after until they're forty, and then they turn normal, aged and only knowing how to do this one occupation which paid for their hair-cut, and it so sad and they can write a novel about saving the world from batman and get a second sprite-transplant and and trophy doll or dude. that's none of my business, and i don't even care if they have it good, but what they did was force us, the forces of good and bad, to band together into groups ourselves and define ourselves against each other in order to have dignity... and, i'm not a good herd person. my group was the people like me, and it only came out as drama -- all of us were wounded in our sex -- you know that phrase? and not able to say anything but wise shit -- we weren't smart enough to nuke the locker room or get the runner guys to allow you into their private bed-thoughts. and, this is mostly what i'm reading in this and why i'm too perv to really give you a good crit on it. it takes me back to that space and makes me embarrassed and ashamed and i want to just crawl away.

probably, this is about criminal accounting practices in american corporations, and i'm missing the entire point totally. but, the words worked well.
 — bmikebauer

the miKe-meteor-metaphors come, streaking through the sky at the speed of literary wile, never dull nor dumb, but blast from his red-ocher core, where these burns that shaped his heart, burn twice as bright in words he wrote for all -- ;)
 — AlchemiA

oh, mikee, i didn't mean for it to sound perverted at all.
i was just going 'cosmic' with this shit as i usually do, with
a little help from stuff that are commercial and earthly --
but, well, the freudian goo does leak universally and is
indeed universal and we've been around awhile to have
those very sensitive buttons emerge from your skin and
pushed unintentionally by me.

'perv' is not fully bad, by the way. aren't we all pervs? and,
if being a perv means being a criminal, all corporations in
the world are accountable for their/such practices.

i hope i got my words working write.
; )
 — fractalcore

OOPS:

oh, mikee, i didn't mean for it to sound perverted at all.
i was just going 'cosmic' with this shit as i usually do, with
a little help from stuff that are commercial and earthly --
but, well, the freudian goo does leak universally and is
indeed universal and Ewe've been around awhile to have
those very sensitive buttons emerge from your skin and
pushed unintentionally by me.

'perv' is not fully bad, by the way. aren't we all pervs? and,
if being a perv means being a criminal, all corporations in
the world are accountable for their/such practices.

i hope i got my words working write.
; )
 — fractalcore

i read it, you know, as a kind of howl on the takers and shakers and how they shake the baby to death. and, i'm saying only that i'm too perv, perhaps, too bent by this history of mine, to give you the direct crit on this. and, that's sort of shown true, because i miss-wrote it so that it didn't come off reading like i wanted it to.

this piece isn't perv at all!
 — bmikebauer

well, maybee i'm the one too bent to read the facts other
than your 'perv' facts -- see? the boiler boils down to the
same thing.

this kind of universality is crippling.
: )
 — fractalcore

true, and it's topical, but i think we have to write stuff like this sometimes -- 'harvard boys' is just this kind of universal, 'what's you going to think about this' writing too, and i like that one for reading.

anytime i refer out, like, if i were to say, 'oh, bach, you make my brain rock', it's crap writing -- calling out the reader to have bach mean something to him already. and, that's not real. so, you write the things about your world and anyone who can pick up on them will. but, inevitably, you're going to get joes like me saying, yes, i was on bus once to arizona, and it was soooo long'.
 — bmikebauer

makes me wanna tweak 'seller' into 'bestseller' --
what do you think?

; )
 — fractalcore

ha. but, i think it works as 'seller', since the extra noise would slow the line, and you've got to quickly get what pop's selling and why it's important up there. so, adding best does give back-ground to seller and popeye, and makes it obviously about pop's stressing on let's make a deal? but, i read it as transparently rushing to 15, and the song of the raga, and when they read that and read the end, they can go back and figure out the beginning and learn to read your language.
 — bmikebauer

hmm, i guess you're right.

: )
 — fractalcore

more ones, paw-leece.

dawg-gammit!
; )
 — fractalcore

again:

more ones, paw-leece.

dawg-gammit!
; )
 — fractalcore

is this based upon haiku loop?
 — unknown

hi, unk.

nope -- except for the fact that DefromedLion's name is
mentioned here as well.

what do you think makes this piece similar to haiku loop,
anyway?

thanks for dropping
bye.

; )
 — fractalcore

I like it; especially lines 7-14.
 — JKWeb

I love this fract!  I can't believe I didn't see it way back then.
I love how  you get craftier as the poems goes on, it's like the further along I get, the more drunk I am, and by the end I'm so wasted I can't even read.  it's so fun.  imma do it again. :) xox
 — jenakajoffer

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