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I Feel so shallow between her legs

the powder blue
the broken structures
i listen to
for her
because of her
i knew the time it took
when the lights would go out
i caught her on the stairs
i caught her in the stars
she came and she went
the nightly mess
of my life
so wonderful when im livin
with the lights in my eyes
smiles and crys
i set all of that meandering
crossed out mindbomb
bullshit aside
to touch her
and know her
all of me
for just a little bit of her
moan in the moonlight
drinks and drugs
livin young
only gonna make her love me
but i felt so shallow between her legs
nice memories
and damning eyes
for me on the stairs
drinkin vodka
for the taste of the past.

13 Mar 04

Rated 6 (6.3) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (1): 4, 7, 8

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I like the feel of this poem but it's kinda ruined for me with your last 2 lines... just broke the flow of it if you know what I mean...
 — treerain

Yea, I agree with 'Treerain' on the last two lines brakin' the flow of the poem, but other than, that is is really good! I really like it a lot!
 — red87rokr06

Wow. Good poem. I love lines 9 and 10. I agree with the ending two lines. But good. I liked it
 — DrvwayBeauty

i like the last two lines, i might add a -g- to drinkin, just for the sound but other than that, i like it a lot
 — unknown

l16 *cries, was it a typo or deliberate? um..its good. different, but it flows. title is a smudge long, but the idea of it you should definitely keep.
 — wendz