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nighthood
DeformedLion

sometimes the yellow
 1
frowns at the beige
 2
  like badges square
 3
  over tapioca
 4
screaming "HOWTY COW!"
 5
 
 
     yore
 6
sometimes late for afternoon
 7
you mourning sod, crinkled
 8
shoe, you sure stupid poo.
 9
 
 
byit as you do, scarecrow
 10
figure lithe as icepop
 11
sun/sun sunbathers
 12
brought to bare.
 13
 
 
being yours i scarcely would
 14
admit to beigeness on my part,
 15
vagueness really, as
 16
the yellow on your dimpled thighs,
 17
screaming clit, lit-
 18
can't f'ing f it.
 19

3 Jan 10

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Comments:

stanza three dims out -- it could be more introspective, building inner visions and images, and then come back, in stanza four, to 'ironies'. what this kind of poem can do is take the reader out of chatter and into their own experience, and that's most easily done by writing a raw image, without commenting on it, at the right point in the poem.
 — bmikebauer

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