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Salvation Divided
JKWeb

.                             as good as a waiting mortuary…the infinite ire of mind misfortune
 1
 
 
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 2
    
 3
he hears naught reason                     decimated, cross-eyed stare                           diced cells serene
 4
his head cement                              stone-handed, sequential prayer                         awaken unseen
 5
in the wrought-iron fist                 marred his insides, mix and twisted                    pressure blood gauged
 6
of sentiment                               a brew that skewered stomach scars                    febrile head singed
 7
 
 
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 8
t
 9
  h
 10
    e
 11
       r
 12
         m
 13
            o
 14
              s
 15
                t
 16
                  a
 17
                    t                                                       i
 18
                                                                       h        f
 19
                       red, under tongue steam,       s                  t   brittle bones,  cold steel gleam—
 20
 
 
                                                                      [a l o n e]
 21
 
 
 
 
                                                                            S
 22
                                                                            O
 23
                                                                            U
 24
                                                                            G
 25
                                                                            H
 26
                                                                            T
 27
                                                                    death’s stain
 28
                                                       beneath a geyser of scarlet rain
 29
 
 
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 30
 
 
plotted a plot
 31
to plant cadaver-
 32
 
 
to liberate pain’s
 33
infestation            skin s p l i t knack, lack moderation, (embracing) fatality…the severed side of   s
 34
                                                                                                                                           a
 35
                                                                                                                                          l
 36
                                                                                                                                         v
 37
                                                                                                                                        a
 38
                                                                                                                                       t
 39
                                                                                                                                      i
 40
                                                                                                                                     o
 41
                                                                                                                                    n
 42

19 Feb 10

Rated 8.3 (8.9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10
Inactive (14): 5, 5, 6, 6, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(170 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

WOW! You have taken this to crazy, i am enjoyed
 — ghost

ghost-
Thanks for having a look at this one.  I'm glad you like it.
 — JKWeb

Slightly modified.
 — JKWeb

Cool! Lines 2-7 even work as a Cleave poem, very nice a 10
 — BxPR

it's growing on me.........  

:)
 — Tandisol

BxPR-
Thanks for reading and comment.  I'm not too familiar with Cleave poems but I will google.  Thanks again.
 — JKWeb

Tandisol-
Thanks for having a l@@k......I appreciate it.
 — JKWeb

JK: I have to be honest, I think you are playing with format too much these days; screen presentation rather than content (albeit the content is good) reconsider?
 — SarahMichele

Very cool poem and art! I happen to like art + poetic pieces. Catholicism? Holy Communion? 10
 — Redlander

Redlander-
Thanks for reading and commenting.  It's not really religious based.  It's about a guy who's going through unbearable trials and tribulations in his life...so much so that it's making him physically ill and he thinks death may be a solution but ultimately not the salvation he is seeking. Anyway, thanks again.
 — JKWeb

Actually I was asking about the art. What does it  represent?
 — Redlander

Redlander-
Oh, silly me.  My bad...the art doesn't really represent anything.  It was just a vision I had...how I wanted it to look on the screen after I wrote it is all.  Thanks for re-visiting.
 — JKWeb

I too was interested by the art as well as the poem
 — frugal

frugal-
Thanks for reading and the positive feedback.  Gratitude.
 — JKWeb

SarahMichele-
I apologize for missing you in the mix.  I know what you mean but I like the concrete poetry as well.  Thanks for having a look and commenting.
 — JKWeb

tHIS IS GREAT. lOL.

uGH!

dAMN cAPSLOCK KEY.
 — unknown

Wow beautiful. Art and content are both quality work.

+10!
 — laura352

unknown-
Thank you for the favorable assessment.
 — JKWeb

laura352-
I appreciate the + crit.  Thanks.
 — JKWeb

whoa, buoy...

how duh hull
deed jah doo eat,
buoy?

gooed work, on
the overall, mister
JKWebster sir.

; )
 — fractalcore

fractalcore-
I appreciate you having a look and nice comment.
 — JKWeb

I seriously can't believe I missed this one, JKWeb you are a man of many talents an a damned good editor...
 — ambiguos

He's a GREAT editor.

I always love his critiques XD
 — laura352

ambiguous-
Thanks for checking this out and nice compliment.
 — JKWeb

laura352-
Thanks for re-visiting.
 — JKWeb

love this.... concrete poetry is not easy!
 — aforbing

aforbing-
Thanks for reading and nice comment.  I appreciate it.
 — JKWeb

You like Tinker Toys and Leggo, dontcha?
 — NicMichaels

this is fun... it's the dancing Calvary action figure....

what's good is how much you didn't feel you had to say, as much as what you gave.
 — bmikebauer

NicMichaels-
I did as a kid, yes.  How did you know?  :J  Thanks for having a look.
 — JKWeb

bmikebauer-
Thanks for reading and commenting.
 — JKWeb

I think it actualy detracts from the poem, but my mind just doesn't work in a visual artsy way. I had trouble reading it, and still haven't finishedit I can't I won't rate or critique, cause I am obviously one of the people this poem wasn't ment for. I do greatly applaud your creativity.
 — Solstice

Solstice-
Thanks for partially reading and comment.  I'm glad you at least liked the creativity aspect.
 — JKWeb

good poem
 — stout

stout-
Thank you for reading and nice brief comment.
 — JKWeb

I like this a lot. The format really changes the way it's read. It adds a good emphasis on the places that are meant to be emphasized.
Super cool :D
10
 — Casiobone

not good. too sprawling. You must live in LA. It gives me a headache.
very basic.
 — unknown

Casiobone-
Thanks for checking this out.  Glad you like it.
 — JKWeb

unknown-
Thanks anyway.
 — JKWeb

You artsy talented poet you.
;)
 — mandolyn

mandolyn-
Thanks for reading and nice words.
 — JKWeb

I appreciate the skill involved here, but I'm not a big fan of graphical text.
 — unknown

unknown-
Thanks for reading and comment.
 — JKWeb

Unique! Almost art poetry
 — Ebony

Ebony-
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
 — JKWeb

What a HUGE undertaking this must have been for you...
 — aforbing

aforbing-
  It was a lot of cut and paste from word...not too bad.  Thanks for the 2nd look.
 — JKWeb

Really wrapping my brain around this one, but I have to ask, why is the salvation on a backwards downslide?
 — PaleHorse

Thanks Palehorse for reading and comment(s).  In answer to your inquiry, no reason in particular.  Just adding to the concrete effect is all.
 — JKWeb

This is really cool. How talented you are!!! :D
 — psychofemale

I appreciate the nod pschofemale.  Thanks for reading.
 — JKWeb

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