. as good as a waiting mortuary…the infinite ire of mind misfortune
he hears naught reason decimated, cross-eyed stare diced cells serene
his head cement stone-handed, sequential prayer awaken unseen
in the wrought-iron fist marred his insides, mix and twisted pressure blood gauged
of sentiment a brew that skewered stomach scars febrile head singed
red, under tongue steam, s t brittle bones, cold steel gleam—
[a l o n e]
beneath a geyser of scarlet rain
plotted a plot
to plant cadaver-
to liberate pain’s
infestation skin s p l i t knack, lack moderation, (embracing) fatality…the severed side of s
19 Feb 10
Rated 8.3 (8.9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10
Inactive (14): 5, 5, 6, 6, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(170 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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WOW! You have taken this to crazy, i am enjoyed
Thanks for having a look at this one. I'm glad you like it.
Cool! Lines 2-7 even work as a Cleave poem, very nice a 10
it's growing on me.........
Thanks for reading and comment. I'm not too familiar with Cleave poems but I will google. Thanks again.
Thanks for having a l@@k......I appreciate it.
JK: I have to be honest, I think you are playing with format too much these days; screen presentation rather than content (albeit the content is good) reconsider?
Very cool poem and art! I happen to like art + poetic pieces. Catholicism? Holy Communion? 10
Thanks for reading and commenting. It's not really religious based. It's about a guy who's going through unbearable trials and tribulations in his life...so much so that it's making him physically ill and he thinks death may be a solution but ultimately not the salvation he is seeking. Anyway, thanks again.
Actually I was asking about the art. What does it represent?
Oh, silly me. My bad...the art doesn't really represent anything. It was just a vision I had...how I wanted it to look on the screen after I wrote it is all. Thanks for re-visiting.
I too was interested by the art as well as the poem
Thanks for reading and the positive feedback. Gratitude.
I apologize for missing you in the mix. I know what you mean but I like the concrete poetry as well. Thanks for having a look and commenting.
tHIS IS GREAT. lOL.
dAMN cAPSLOCK KEY.
Wow beautiful. Art and content are both quality work.
Thank you for the favorable assessment.
I appreciate the + crit. Thanks.
how duh hull
deed jah doo eat,
gooed work, on
the overall, mister
I appreciate you having a look and nice comment.
I seriously can't believe I missed this one, JKWeb you are a man of many talents an a damned good editor...
He's a GREAT editor.
I always love his critiques XD
Thanks for checking this out and nice compliment.
Thanks for re-visiting.
love this.... concrete poetry is not easy!
Thanks for reading and nice comment. I appreciate it.
You like Tinker Toys and Leggo, dontcha?
this is fun... it's the dancing Calvary action figure....
what's good is how much you didn't feel you had to say, as much as what you gave.
I did as a kid, yes. How did you know? :J Thanks for having a look.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I think it actualy detracts from the poem, but my mind just doesn't work in a visual artsy way. I had trouble reading it, and still haven't finishedit I can't I won't rate or critique, cause I am obviously one of the people this poem wasn't ment for. I do greatly applaud your creativity.
Thanks for partially reading and comment. I'm glad you at least liked the creativity aspect.
Thank you for reading and nice brief comment.
I like this a lot. The format really changes the way it's read. It adds a good emphasis on the places that are meant to be emphasized.
Super cool :D
not good. too sprawling. You must live in LA. It gives me a headache.
Thanks for checking this out. Glad you like it.
You artsy talented poet you.
Thanks for reading and nice words.
I appreciate the skill involved here, but I'm not a big fan of graphical text.
Thanks for reading and comment.
Unique! Almost art poetry
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
What a HUGE undertaking this must have been for you...
It was a lot of cut and paste from word...not too bad. Thanks for the 2nd look.
Really wrapping my brain around this one, but I have to ask, why is the salvation on a backwards downslide?
Thanks Palehorse for reading and comment(s). In answer to your inquiry, no reason in particular. Just adding to the concrete effect is all.
This is really cool. How talented you are!!! :D
I appreciate the nod pschofemale. Thanks for reading.