from the bottom
or eye must've
on an ash[ed] ray
till they spill
must read out loud
on neon yellow
till they spells
must dig out proud
on freon below
white the hell
red joke on
written feb 19, 2010
[thanks to mandolyn, jenakajoffer,
JKWebster sir, and DeformedLinus
for the colorful exchange]
for my sunflower, nisetru,
from your sun, a blackhole
21 Feb 10
Rated 10 (9.7) by 1 users.
Inactive (4): 7, 9, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)
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we've all got an inner-blonde, an inner-idiot, a moron and dim-wit with which we relate to when we don't get it -- not seeing this is the overtly-educated conceit that planning what you say, mangling many metaphors, will make it complete -- we fall over our words, tumbling down to where cliche' is more like playing the clown - we excite to absurdity when our inner-idiot stares at the dumb things smart people compare; like why is bra singular and panties plural? -- our home is merCuriously illuMentating 'round a black-hole, where all the light 'n dirty cloths go -- where insight is an invertendo move, in which giving more than you get, is really love --
but its been said before by those smarter than me, if it weren't for the inner-moron we'd not experience glee ...
fractal, you slam-jamming, jejune-hamming, jaunty-juiced writer, shooting from the hip with your lip like a yoga-yellow lighter ... heh heh
— AlchemiA &nb sp;[!]
Cool poem. Though I'd omit line 22. It disrupted the flow a bit me thinks. Also, I think a more suitable title would be 'call her color blind'. What do you think ? Otherwise, nice write.
— JKWeb [!]
thanks, JKWebster sir.
but |22 is there shake the reader just a bit --
a little tremor there, if you like.
it was fun exchanging words with you again.
— fractalcore [!]
ey Alc, i've just noticed i ended up with .38 lines in this.
i think the headstand was really meant to dig holes in
the skull by spinning on the head so the inner-moron
could be grounded.
— fractalcore [!]
indigo, come on, you have a whole rainbow.
a whole in the rainbow!
look fact, you just an't taking this ....
taking this where?
i got dirt all over the floor.
wear your yoga shoos.
i need to hear some serious thought
from you regarding this.
tell me where i did wrong and what
out - 23
dot on 38
close enuff to being the wrong answer
but thanks for playing, hehehehehe.
no, seriously, are you on drags?
have been itching to switch to 'ashed ray'
there for awhile now and the on-ins are
fixed fixtures on the wall.
23 is my fave michael jordan number so
it stays, too.
and the dot on .38 maybe means you should
read the whole thing in one single breath, hehe.
but this is not like doing 26 non-stop i-knows
in 'aint no sunshine when she's gone' so it would
really be pushing it too far if you did have one
single breath left but spend it on this perforated
what's the color of melancholy, sir_I _clan?
can you tell me?
you're a tad slow today
so i just went ahead and
rode the ash[ed] ray.
what do you think?
you still dare?
Methinks werds wok wa-key.
My thumb is up-- no TWO are up.
two thumbs down
too dumbs cram
balls on the rubber
word tutu ears:
lease in two
year mOm ease bald, aye know.
when [h]air heats the ground, eat hertz.
fists heet fays
wack wack wack.
an eye, know.
what collar ease
duh bleak row?
me eye twitcheth
with a bleak
love love love.
so there's a bounty in your marrow?
die've, doe've, duh've,
what else do i have?
you've blood in your veins
and a medal to your name.
oh, i licke it when it rains,
this me-dull as big as a
hmm, i miss doing dis:
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did a son plow her? blah blah black sheep hole
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i do not really grasp all of writer's intent. is this an apology for 14? not that the cliche 14 is next door but |14. how does she cope w/ ashed tray,did she not see smoke? is this a revival? i like revelations as this.