poetry critical

online poetry workshop


ants --

written 2/23/10

for Diana Jiganie, the most
important thing in my life.

also for mike bauer
[hope you'll feel/get better, man]

thanks to rubber mandolyn
for the thread here:

     /   \
     : )

2 Mar 10

Rated 9 (10) by 1 users.
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cute wording,

but i don't think Diana is a thing.  

– jenakajoffer

gooed point.

but maybee she's my
thing queen and i'm her
thing king?

thanks for pawn-thing
that outch.

; )
– fractalcore

of coerce fract,
you are my plee
– jenakajoffer

...*[of]* her
thing king...

i plead guilty
for sure
; )
– fractalcore

who likes white elephants?

; )
– fractalcore

white elleuphunts?
Eye haf a kiss doll.

(gud poe- em)
– mandolyn

all width

white lays
on gobble
duh gook



; )
– fractalcore

er slap chop iffen ewe will
da geeks twooly luva dis.
– mandolyn

well, dis ease
ah free con sort
fur damn nerd-geeks,
ore peephole off dot sort.

; )
– fractalcore
 — fractalcore

lovely :)
 — nisetru

thank you, my love.

: )
 — fractalcore

Me heart thanks ye.
Me brain nods-
well done good sir.
Tis delight.
Diana should be tickled pink!
 — mandolyn

she's fuschia flushed, yeah.

i hope.

you know how psycos, elephants
and ants are, hehe.

they got hearts as big as their fists;

so do sycophants.
; )
 — fractalcore

Duuude if YOU are the one Frac who called me that.
I'll burn your house down.

I'll kill your cat.

I'll send you to Iraq
and never let you back.

 — mandolyn

call you what?

i'll never call you that
which i don't know yet.
; )
 — fractalcore

psychopant- someone called me that
you know,
way back
2 days ago
that heartless hobo.
Fo sho/
 — mandolyn

I don't get it. Is there something too get? please to explain.
 — Solstice

owe, know.

eye dean't call eww dot.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, Soltice.

eye daunt get eat either.
; )
 — fractalcore

But,but you have to get it........right? It was an honest quesion, if you don't wish to give an honest answer that's fine.  Maybe I am just slow. Lack of drugs you see
 — Solstice

er, SolStice.

; )
 — fractalcore

Aye did naught tink ewe dead.
 — mandolyn


think of imps and sycophants
and the like...

then think of ants gnawing them...

then listen to their hearts pant.
; )
 — fractalcore

and, is there really a difference between
imps and ants?

they're all kindred --

when they fall,
they're like psychos panting
at one point or another,
one way or the other.

; )
 — fractalcore

and, poetry is the only drug of choice.

; )
 — fractalcore

rubber mandolyn,

i thought i wasn't dead too till i
bumped my head into my arse.

that singular moment changed
my life forever, hehe.

: )
 — fractalcore

Very cool!
 — Redlander

nice poem. forgive my misinterpretation on your other poem, which i must admit i favored considerably, as it felt more dense, even for some of your dense poetry. dense, not in the bad way, in the way that it's packed.

this one is good as well. good title, good poem.

can't guarantee it's me, but ... well, it is. i rarely don't sign in and leave a comment, as i don't want you to feel attacked by unknown disguising as listen. but, it's really listen, i should get out of this habit (well, second time hardly counts as habit, though), most likely won't post under unknown again. just thought i'd let you know i read one of your poems.

 — unknown

very nice of you to stop by.
i know it's you.

hope everything's fine.
: )
 — fractalcore

quantoom boompfh...

; )
 — fractalcore

 — unknown

aye nod there X paw say?
 — unknown