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Secrets
endlessdream

We once danced in the rain together,
 1
And told each other secrets.
 2
A playground at night,
 3
Only one or two streetlamps awake.
 4
I was cold but you kept me warm.
 5
I haven't danced in the rain since then...
 6
Until tonight.
 7
This time I've no one to tell my secrets to.
 8
Where have you gone? Left me alone.
 9
A cemetery and night.
 10
Only the moon is awake.
 11
You have become cold yourself.
 12
Is that your presence I feel dancing among the
 13
tombstones too?
 14

18 Mar 04

Rated 8 (7) by 1 users.
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Inactive (1): 6, 8

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Comments:

Hi it's me Himalia again,  I don't have as much to say about this poem.  I wonder why you would be dancing on the graves?  It seems almost like a love poem except that you went back after the other person died and danced on the graves.  I did like this poem untill I thought about it.  It should be revised so that you are not dancing in the rain in the cemetary.  Perhaps if it were sunny at the beginning of the poem and raining at the end and you went to the cemetary and remembered the time you were dancing with him, or imagined dancing with him.
 — unknown

I like. Especially the tombstones.
 — unknown

I love the idea of street lights being awake.  This is an interesting way of mourning a dead friend, dancing among the tombstones and hoping a ghost is dancing with you in the rain.
 — Isabelle5

himilia....or something. i was not dancing on their grave. we danced together and becuase im in a cemetery, it signifies that he is dead. its a twist on a memory. thats all it is. im not defacing anything or infering that i was defacing anything. learn to read
 — endlessdream

I like how it hints at the death but doesnt come out and say it. Also i think this is pretty creative and flows pretty nicely. The only line i dont like that much is line 9 but its important to the peice and isnt a big deal. Wonderful work Angie. gold star.
 — InMyBlood

That was Beautiful
 — unknown

wow endlessdream......or something   whata bitch
 — unknown

haha. thanks. i was correcting her on misreading my poem. so eff off :)
 — endlessdream

wow.. u caught me by surprise at the last line there
 — meghanmidget

this is so sad, but you have done a good job of showing emotion though. the end clipped me. i almost feel like crying. awesome job here.
 — SweetPain

Darn it, why was this never read more and rated higher?  It deserves much more praise than it has gotten.
 — Isabelle5

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