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Minded
cubbzor

Why do I grip my claws
 1
when one offends?
 2
Or draw swords instead
 3
of sew words to patch amends?
 4
 
 
My scalp sports a chestnut color,
 5
yet sweats a gray mane.
 6
As if a willow's rings multiply
 7
even in the absence of rain.
 8
 
 
This, condition is impressed
 9
into my eyes.
 10
I'd almost prefer to laugh
 11
at the lonely, than to hear
 12
regret echo throughout my mind.
 13
 
 
But alas, both occur.
 14

10 Mar 10

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Comments:

Cool poem.  Though maybe statements instead of questions in the first strophe.  Maybe something like:
'I unsheath claws
when one offends,
draw swords instead of reason
to make amends.'
or something like that.  2nd strophe is $$$.  Lines 9-10, maybe:
'this vision impressed
into my eyes'  might read a bit smoother.  All in all, nice write.
 — JKWeb

Thanks for the read Web. I think I'm going to keep the questions in the first stanza. Rather than stating how I act and react to things, I think its better to wonder why I choose to react the way I do, and the first two questions do a better job of that than just explicitly stating so. I'm not sure if what I just said made sense
 — cubbzor

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