poetry critical

online poetry workshop



YOU+I
matrinh20

I
 1
so
 2
can
 3
wait
 4
bated
 5
breath
 6
holding
 7
eternally
 8
ashamed                          
 9
animosity
 10
ambiguous                          
 11
remorseless
 12
relinquished
 13
remembrance
 14
acrimoniously
 15
knowledgeable
 16
accommodating
 17
sanctimoniously
 18
uncompromising
 19
presenimentality              
 20
magnanimously
 21
quintessentially
 22
simultaneously
 23
vaingloriously                            
 24
sensationally
 25
irresponsible
 26
lasciviously
 27
accredited
 28
acquiesce
 29
enduring
 30
remains
 31
secure
 32
loves
 33
more
 34
say
 35
if
 36
I
 37
to
 38
my
 39
self
 40
take
 41
heart
 42
covet
 43
foolish
 44
jealousy
 45
validates
 46
gratuitous
 47
destruction
 48
pulchritude
 49
castigations
 50
consternation
 51
perspicacious
 52
blandishments
 53
temperamental                                        
 54
masochistically                                        
 55
monomaniacal
 56
phenomenally
 57
detrimentally                              
 58
complaisant
 59
cognizance
 60
belligerent                                                            
 61
assiduous
 62
bellicose
 63
martinet
 64
abandon
 65
carnage
 66
wasted
 67
carnal
 68
bitter
 69
ness
 70
will
 71
do
 72
it
 73

20 Mar 10

Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (2): 1, 7, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(39 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

That had to of taken a lot of time. To piece those words. Make the right fit.
Wow.
L57-?
 — mandolyn

thanks for crit, have fixed line 57. This makes 2 peaks and troughs in 'new times roman' text, but is slightly buggered up in the text it is presented here in.
 — matrinh20

Cool poem.  I have to give you mad props just for structure alone.  Overall, an intriguing read as well so bravo.
 — JKWeb

Is this an aerial of two people (you and i) or two breasts? I am asking, seriously. And bellicose is such an awesome word.
 — NicMichaels

There's a poet who's name I can't remeber right now who in the one of the backs of his books has a glossary full of words unrelated to anything else in the book simply for the joy of printing words he found beautiful -- using the glossary, therefore, as a final poem. I loved that, and feel similarly reading this. Add to that the tool of shape, and this is a pretty impressive piece of work.
 — Crayon

The poems form, along with the meanings and sequence represent two parts created by sequenciel and balanced peaks and troughs. the first is 'YOU' and the second is 'I'. the relative 'positive' and 'negative' aspects that merge to become each representive personia, and placed as near as possible to make coherent sentences as narrated by 'I'.
But did'nt I just know someone would see them as a pair of tits!
 — matrinh20

That's cool. Didn't make a lick of sense but its still cool.
 — Solstice

nicely constructed.
 — raskolniikov

lame
 — unknown

0.489s