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atlanta
aurelius

this is not manhattan.
 1
they come here to snapshot
 2
centennial olympic park—
 3
   brown thrashers
 4
   (not a pigeon,
 5
   a mocking-bird)
 6
   and dog-eared
 7
   trumpeters
 8
underground atlanta—
 9
   commercial
 10
   echo-chamber
 11
   for beatboxers
 12
   and thieves
 13
or the coca-cola factory.
 14
 
 
it takes an effort, then,
 15
to really see the skyscrapers
 16
and golden-domed capitol,
 17
   men of the high-rise,
 18
   lunch pails and milk,
 19
   yellow hardhats.
 20
what did my great-greats think of
 21
as the city lazarusized, steam
 22
still purling off the earth—
 23
crop failure?  prohibition?
 24
brown-knuckled baptists?
 25
   (certainly they didn't see
 26
   the coke in their soda
 27
   becoming the crack
 28
   of gutter rats)
 29
 
 
twice i have been in a condo
 30
on peachtree boulevard:
 31
once at christmas,
 32
another for fun.
 33
it sways, affable as jazz,
 34
wind whistling dixie
 35
or the dolorous alto solo
 36
of negro spirituals--
 37
   i didn't think then
 38
   of the masons,
 39
   blistering their hands
 40
   for supper
 41
 
 
they should have been florists,
 42
buttonholing emory village
 43
with the cherokee rose—
 44
   maybe then the shapes
 45
   of our collected history
 46
   would look a little less
 47
   like upright caskets.
 48

12 Apr 10

Rated 10 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10, 10
Inactive (17): 1, 1, 1, 5, 5, 7, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

i really liked the cherokee rose, bit.
 — manuka

i'm glad
 — aurelius

bump -- c'mon, i'm proud of dis
 — unknown

nice poem, padawan. :)
 — Sequiturist

atlanta moan; i hear it breathing in the last stanza ever so slightly.  i love it.  you have the most rich textures and language, and although i 'see' your words differently now, i feel them much more deeply.  even with such simple things as milk, buttonholing and caskets.

remarkable the way you place the reader in your lap; it's almost as if you are able to pet the person's head while you're reading to them.
 — jenakajoffer

you do make me smile, mon cher

see?

=D
 — aurelius

L2-8 aren't happening for me.
L21-25, however, are.
Final stanza makes for an excellent conclusion.  Good work.
 — chumble

images are nice here
 — psychofemale

aurelius. I LOVE YOU.
 — Sequiturist

well done
 — Callisto

You've made writing look easy, and there isn't a word in this poem that I'd change.
 — DianaTrees

Stoic in tone, for sure, who be this marcus aurelis assessing architectural turpi-tude? ;) I like your works very much indeed.
 — ghost

You should be proud of this. Great language and structure.

A
 — unknown

amen.
 — Rss233

GEEZ, i't about time, and well deserved
should have been here at the top a long time ago!
Well done.
 — unknown

oh, the cherokee rose poem, i remember this.  nice one.
 — manuka

what happened to the last #1? no matter. this one satisfies.
 — unknown

please wite more.
 — unknown

big tick
 — DeformedLion

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