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running into cannibals
jenakajoffer

hear slaughter in the field
 1
cornhusk cracking billie in the knees
 2
I'll carry her on my back
 3
pack her about the river I go.
 4
 
 
she sees a time of mean beginnings
 5
as goslings squeeze down the burglar's neck.
 6
crane spreads her feathers with a splash
 7
and toad deplores his lost supper;
 8
watch him thrash and drown in the foam.
 9
 
 
a cow shivers, we swish flies
 10
smell huckleberry sow baking in a pie.
 11
it's thick, something sick in the night
 12
still a diversion in the delight of running—
 13
I should look delightful in these legs
 14
flanks of good marble strutting.
 15
 
 
billie's girl-tummy groans
 16
farmer owns the road, dreams of tantalizing meat—
 17
she must look delicious in those legs!
 18
farmerboy will cut her belly, sack a meal for his brood
 19
slow food like haggis sloth by
 20
billie squeal and ran past the rye!
 21
 
 
run fat-girl, I say run from the fowl
 22
away from the plough,
 23
from the wives eating cheeks in a bubbly
 24
brown grease, and the geese that hang
 25
drizzle sauce for the bread
 26
pudding clouds in their heads!
 27
 
 
see them scratch at my heels as I flee with child,
 28
no delight in running from the kettle
 29
no flight under this blood moon.
 30
 
 
for a place so demure
 31
seems more than manure to old Ebenezer;
 32
I'm on the lamb with shredded laces
 33
hear the whine of several roasting faces–
 34
poor billie,
 35
she'll be delicious with thyme!
 36

22 Apr 10

Rated 9.5 (8.1) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 9, 10
Inactive (19): 1, 1, 3, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(4 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

a viscereal rump, er romp through the fields of old ebenezer with the eyes of a child combining bright-life and bloody-food like a catcher-in the-corn-husks - a sort-of surreality yet the sounds and the imagery catches one by the throat - here you've served us drizzle-sauce for bread under a blood-moon

brilliant metaphorical delight with words that dash and clash and sound just write ... nice one jen

happy b'day to your growing-up grrrl
 — AlchemiA

Nice one, happy birthday to her!
 — psychofemale

THis is vividly portrayed with some stunning imagery
 — larrylark

fantastic
leadbelly country
 — stout

Made me hungry
Lots of fun.  I'll come back later on, if'n you want some critique
 — aurelius

i love your sense of timing...the rhymes in sequence all just seem to fit, stretched out by the vividness of all the pictures. yes, the imagery is fresh and at times, quite startling- you win me all over again with each damn stanza.
 — DeformedLion

hey alch, cool comment, thanks for the smile in your comment and b-day wishes for my girl. :)

thanks psyche.

mr birdlark i have been searching all over for you.  so nice to have you.

stout, leadbelly made me laugh, thanks-- dont' let him tell you i'm hick, hehe.

aureo, thank you :)  funny, it does make me hungry too.  glad to hear that.  of course if you have crits i am to hear them. :D

linus, thank you....i love your timing. :)
 — jenakajoffer

  fine young cannibals?
 — unknown

haha, surely.
 — jenakajoffer

hey rask, you're back.  hope everything is going well, as well as can be for a bastard. ;)
and thanks for favourting this, i am surprised. :)
 — jenakajoffer

i hate surprises.
 — raskolniikov

why you like this poem.
 — jenakajoffer

it's the cannibalism that hooked you, isn't rask.  he he he
bet you'd want to eat those piano legs wouldn't you.  ;)
 — jenakajoffer

isn't it!  
i cannot think properly when you're around.  
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

fantastic poem~
 — unknown

good one ms willendorf
 — unknown

Want to lick your limestone titties, Jenks
 — unknown

^ ha ha ha he he he ho ho ho ho
 — unknown

limestone??
hahaha, good grief.
 — jenakajoffer

happy birthday, chloe.
: )
 — fractalcore

Limestone as in old, ancient, weathered and riddled with fossils.
 — unknown

This is truly an excellent poem, and should be sent out for publication at first opportunity. I do, however, stumble a bit on line 12. All those Ses
 — Bloodfetish

Should have know it was you ...
 — Bloodfetish

what no mention of shit-on-a-shingle?  haha... great one jen!  wait, I guess you already have drizzle sauce for the bread.
 — jpmhawk

aw thank you fract! :)

thanks a ton for your comment, BloodF, i'm very surprised you'd consider this publishable, but damn, that's awesome-- maybe i will consider your advice.

thanks jhawk, shingles are funny. :)
 — jenakajoffer

pretentious and self-indulgent
 — unknown

unique tone, gives the poem a voice of its own
 — Callisto

Poets get paid in pride and compliments, Jen -- and that won't cover the price of the stamps. But this is definitely worth sharing with others. You could always save the cost of a stamp and seek out quality ezine publishers.
 — Bloodfetish

Thank you David, sharing poems beyond this scope is a dream of tantalizing meat.  i wouldn't know where to turn, and what is an ezine publisher?
 — jenakajoffer

EXcellent write, jj,
 — unknown

the musicality of this piece is extraordinary! incredibly vivid and just a darn good read, thank you for sharing!
 — redsky

jinks, you sentimental fool. LOVING IT.
 — unknown

Start at Poetry Publishing and work outward from there.

www (dot) poetry-portal (dot) com/publishing.html

Sorry about messing up the clickable link, but this web site has coding that would disallow it.
 — Bloodfetish

  

some great words combinations and sounds and full of adventure, quite difficult to understand in places.

in honesty, i found the poem after i made the post about fat people and stereotyping, but i can see how you must have thought i meant you in some way.  so, apolgies there.
 — manuka

word (up^)
 — unknown

gawsh, this is amazing.
 — RueUrsula

hah! Stunning display of something that needs a full view. Every word is
a tendril to its purpose, which does not make this meat-on-a-stick. It is labored with a rhymed form that challenges the reader.
So well crafted!
Do tell the method of madness.
 — unknown

Sounds like a children's book.

I like.
:)
 — mandolyn

    I AM VERY SICK OF SEEING THIS IN BEST
 — goeszon

no worries goezon ;)
 — jenakajoffer

hey thanks mandee from a million years ago!
 — jenakajoffer

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