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Given Ground
pittsburgh

For my dad.

What we need, you and I, are tall pines.
 1
Tall pines and a cold Vermont lake.  Copper wisps carpet
 2
White granite to the shore.  We sway and talk,
 3
In the pool to our knees.  We like this and the water we lick
 4
From our fingers.  It tastes, more than anything, green.  
 5
We laugh and the ducks snicker with us. Hah Hah Hah.
 6
 
 
Later, long, preposterous cries detach
 7
The hush from the dusk.  
 8
In our cabin beds, we lie there listening.
 9
Listening always for the loons.
 10

7 Jul 10

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Comments:

i'd like to know what the loons are, thought the set up indicates they are the birds, but the openness of the suggestion of loon really takes me in another direction, which is excellent.

filial love and memory set in motion in rhythm of the poetry.
 — jharrison

Loons are a type of bird I think.
This is lovely. I truly enjoyed reading it.
:)
 — mandolyn

Jeeze, thanks so much jharrison and mandolyn.  I found this site yesterday and I am in love.

Loons are waterbirds, yes, and yes, I think they appeared in the poem as different entities than simply birds.  My dad is getting old.  

You can visit this site to hear different variations of loon calls:  http://blog.syracuse.com/indepth/2008/07/aud io_hear_the_calls_of_the_co.html

Thank you, again.
 — pittsburgh

nice!
 — psychofemale

Jeeze, thanks so much jharrison and mandolyn.  I found this site yesterday and I am in love.

Ya? keep holding on to that thought! Hhee heh
I liked your gay little poem. (gay) happy
 — unknown

Ps. if you listen to the loons, you came to the write place.
 — unknown

thanks, unk.  i've been working on putting more menacing into the loon cries...what we're listeng for is really death, i think.
 — pittsburgh

And we should love you, too, pittsburgh. This is stunning. Absolutely no nits from me--just admiration.

A
 — unknown

Gee, thanks, A!  *beam*
 — pittsburgh

Looking at it again, "Copper wisps carpet granite / Outcroppings to the shore" felt forced.  Made a little change.  
 — pittsburgh

Bump.
 — A

I love the hah hah hah in line 6 and how your poem magically allows me to specifically hear those ducks.

and that's all I have to say about that.
 — Ananke

i'm so glad you can hear the ducks laughing with me, A.  blessings.
 — pittsburgh

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