interesting, i dont know what to think of this — psychofemale
this one is going to depend on the melody, and i'm going to set it to the Webern 'quartet'. that's a very open and inviting kind of music, which can accept single phrase expression and convert it into lyric. there's nothing wrong with this writing at all. it's what can be said, and it's got the effect of being someone who's trying not to say anything but what's inside the mirror.
don't let anyone stop you from writing exactly like this. — bmikebauer