|the butcher's cushion
dressed in a splattered jacket,
she was born a coroner
reflective red eyes,
viscera shackled ankles,
with bits of bone gone dry
she leans on my heart,
treats it like meat
rests her head
to fall asleep
16 Jul 10
Rated 10 (9.4) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (8): 7, 7, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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Thanks much unknown
for taking the time to read and comment.
wow web, this is brilliant. i don't believe i have ever read a poem of yours i did not like. 3-8 my favs.
Shock and awe!!! you have really over the time I have watched your work, found a niche in the diabolical, you are Mr. Diabolical heavy on the mister... yeah!
this one is the best works I have seen from all your other small doses of... whatever keep this up and you'll be on t.v. with the Munsters
i like the soft rhyme between coroner and ankles, but on the first reading L2 hangs up
Thank you kindly mandolyn. I appreciate it.
Thanks goeszon. I glad you seem to like it. And I like your Munsters reference! hehe...
Thanks for reading NicMichaels. I was hoping the space between lines 2 and 3 would give it just enough pause. Nonetheless, I'm glad you think it's nicely executed.
ew...this was cryptic, i ...
weird stuff sells, dont let them tell you any different, whoever "them" are
Thanks psychofemale for reading and the positive words.
ok, this is going to come off as 'born a corona' no matter how much i cross my eyes and try to read this as another arty poem. so, all the rest is like what drunk looks like, and where it goes, and who knows what 'heart' means in this country and western knock-off.
at least do, ' and falls her to sleep' so's we can have a song.
Great color and gorey - awesome shit ;D
Thanks for reading and comments bmikeb.
Thank you very much Thenameless. I'm glad you dig the riffs.
lines 7 and 8 are sweet, yeah.
Thank you much pittsburgh. I'm glad lines 7 and 8 worked for you.
it does pause between 2 and 3 effectively. S2 is just very dense with the language, and its a switch from the other three strophes rhythmically. which can work, for sure, and might be why it's a four-line stanza instead of two.
hmm, i'm reading this without ||1-2
and it's good.
Thanks for the re-visit NicMichaels. I'll have to ponder those lines some more when I get a chance.
Thanks fractalcore for reading and making a fave. Like I told Nic, I'll give those lines another look.
your remarkable imagery here presented as 'soft' with all the cutting irony of bone-bits and the passages of becoming just another place to lay yer' head ... an unexpected grimoire with humour and pathos JKWeb ...
Thank you very much AlchemiA for reading and insight. I appreciate it. Namaste.
Thanks Rss233 for reading and brief comment(s).