poetry critical

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I cannot whisper tonight

everything soft and subtle
is lost in my pale cheeks
I walk like I'm haunting this planet
a glow of starlight decorates my head
a hazy mist covers my body
I cannot feel the touch of flesh
only gusts of wind
that are born from a lion's roar
even the old field where my childhood sings lullabyes
cannot offer me silence
I go there and see my tanned mother
pushing me on a swing
that launched me into adulthood too soon

19 Jul 10

(define the words in this poem)
(124 more poems by this author)

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feedback would be appreciated

Why did your mom pushing you inthe swing launch you into adulthood too soon?
 — unknown

otherwise this is good, i feel like your poem aprt from the last few lines- did not have a tanned mommy
 — unknown

Great job!!!
 — psychofemale