|schizy is schizy
i. parallel translation
i rarely brush
my teeth here
in the bear's cave
where i cave-
bear's elbows with
for Diana Jiganie, my nisetru*,
with all my love
bear's cave in apuseni
photo by nisetru
special thanks to
syrossoul, AlchemiA & bmikebauer
Main Entry: cav·i·ar
Variant(s): also cav·i·are \ˈka-vē-ˌär also ˈkä-\
Etymology: earlier cavery, caviarie, from obsolete Italian caviari, plural of caviaro, from Turkish havyar
Date: circa 1560
1 : processed salted roe of large fish (as sturgeon)
2 : something considered too delicate or lofty for mass appreciation — usually used in the phrase, 'caviar to the general'
3 : something considered the best of its kind
* nisetru is romanian for 'sturgeon'
the hopeless romantic bear:
the bears at the fair:
all photos by Diana Jiganie
10 Aug 10
Rated 10 (6.5) by 1 users.
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what if you swapped 3 and 4, and left 5 just as it is...?
hmm, how bout
in the bear's cave
where i cave-
naw, not for me. too macdonald's. like,
my teeth here
where i cave
in the bears cave
to me, my play on it actually sounds metallic and brittle, like when i read instruction sets and it's all symbolic but using sense-sounds. yuck.
hmm, lemme give this some more thought.
i think i just wanna play it simple in ||1-5,
which i think is just appropriate for the conceit
of 'caviar from a sturgeon's roe' and 'cyber bear's
bare and lush sigh' in the following lines.
teddy bears have a kiddie appeal, anyway.
what do you think?
delete this shit
too obvious, and i don't know who you're posting this here for. the lamers aren't going to be able to visualize and musicalize what you've written, and the rest of us are going to want more consciousness from it.
ok, fair enough on both counts,
unky & mikee.
i'll consider that.
one of the mistakes i always make is thinking that an unk's comment, like that one, somehow come from the unk's soul or unconsciousness, and that plays into my insecurity, my embarrassment of acting out in front of people. but, really, what's coming out of the unk is an animal reaction to your presence in his master's front yard. everyone must have a master, but unk's yard master seems to be a garden troll.
kill yourself bauer. do us all a favor.
i think unks can only hurt his own kind.
and, i think [s]he's being a little too quirky
i'll play the unkee game later, yunky.
lovely little piece. thanks.
but it's in need of
it's in need of a deleting.
haha, i've always liked your
clown projection, unk.
how's this, mike?
aw, it's lost the love. it's not that you can engineer a poem out of ideas, it's that you've left ideas behind and turned them into primary and proto-emotion. there isn't any way i can feel your actual emotion unless you write it convincingly. and, the only way to do that in a poem, is to actually write in love. i think it's only that the original was more of a private note.
that maybe because i'm off the hook of the original poem moment;
this is another poem moment for me, and this is an altogether different
poem, i agree.
Bauer if you were to omit 'love' in that crit and replace with 'buzz' i think it would read much better.
the love-buzz is still in this version,
but less potent in how it is evoked.
i'm bound to revert to the original,
but i'm keeping this one in the vault.
sorry frac, i did not mean to dribble on your poem, i like it. i was merely critique'ing bauers crit- cuz he said that is ok to do.
Good lil diddy though.
'love' for me, mandy, is the highest form of consciousness -- far higher than any religious or scientific awareness, and 'buzz' is what i do when i write something like '1951' -- i want to get a reaction so that i can have a reaction.
no worries, mandee.
anyone can say anything here.
i am actually inviting all the unks
to play here and leave the poetry/concept
and, i'm reverting to the original draft
in a few moments.
as if they were attracted to poetry!
love is just the most chaotic, most beautiful
i'm offering them the easy way out: hate.
it's beyond belief, all right. hate is really an interesting thing for us -- it's a word, but we invent words, and how is it that we're stuck with this one-way idea of enmity? there's so many other real ways things happen in the world.
i guess hate is a consequence/derivative
of love in many respects -- the aberrant
form of it, if you will -- which makes
both of them real, necessary and
hard to deflect.
oh well, i decided to keep both of them.
and oh, welcome, sweet ones.
i'll keep those, too.
for more sweet ones.
more sweet ones, please...
unh, i'd one you but i can't break a ten.
yew know the little vertical pointy thing is an accurate replica of their pointy head...?
yes, a clownish sort of projection on the wall
of my perky, quirky cave.
very pointedly apt.
i appreciate this better today. this could be a replica of a recent write if not twin in concept. subject defined in another perspective.
alarming coincidence, that is. a rare find as well.
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